House service

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In Thailand: House service by beautiful girl

Morning come, evening go :  300
Evening come, morning go :  3,000
Let me know     . . . . .     Anytime is ok !

Similarly in this country !

House service:
Day time rate - $300
Night time rate - $3,000

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Needle in breast

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Sometimes you have to admit it's time to retire !!

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Children's test

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In a Children's test :

Write five words you can spell (5 marks) :
1  five
2  words
3  you
4  can
5  spell
                  Very clever !

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Identity theft

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Mother to twin:
    You're not a victim of identity theft.
    You're a twin.

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Crypsiphona ocultaria (Red-lined Looper Moth)

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A moth landed outside my kitchen window.

Moths are usually dull in colour.
And so this one is no exception.
(Colour is usually of no particular importance
to moths as they are often nocturnal.)

It turns out to be a Crypsiphona ocultaria
(Red-lined Looper Moth or Red-lined Geometer).

The "red-lined" part of the name refers to
the red markings seen on the undersides
of the wings.
(This time, looking out from inside the kitchen)

As no one can see its beautiful colour
except from under the body,
I wonder what evolutionary advantage
do the markings convey to this moth ???


More on Crypsiphona ocultaria:
    - A common moth found all over Australia.
    - Larva is green and feeds on eucalypt leaves.
    - When threatened the grub stands still,
      pretending to be a stick.

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Dark matter is coffee

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The "dark matter" which holds the universe together has finally been identified as coffee.

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Do you have a dental appointment

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Husband:
Honey, Wanna fool around ?

Wife:
I can't.
I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow.
I want to stay fresh.

Husband:
(Thinks about it for a while.)
Do you have a dental appointment tomorrow ?

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Topless chicks in short skirts

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Instead of all the negative postings,
here is a pic of some topless chicks in short skirts.

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Hikers climbing down pagodas

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The rocks here are called pagodas.

Location         :  East of Airly Turret, Mugii Murum-ban State Conservation Area, NSW, Australia
Date                :  2021 April 17
Photographer:  Me !   Me !   Me !
This photo has been circulating around the internet without giving credit to me, the photographer  :-(

More pictures of the trip to Airly Turret in Mugii Murum-ban SCA are in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A-3l2Eyx7COv7KhL8_-19Ew5reTRIg_z/view?usp=sharing

Post script:
Above photograph won 1st prize ...

... in Sydney's All Nations Bushwalking Club 2021 photo competition (People's Category) and walked away with $50  :-)

This is the 1st time I submitted a photograph to any competition.
From now on, I should do it more often  :-)

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Nutritious fact on water

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Nutritious Fact:

If you drink a gallon of water per day,
you won't have time for other people's drama,
because you'll be too busy peeing.

Stay hydrated, my friends.

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Get your heart rate up

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"So my doctor says, Sid, you gotta get your heart rate up every day, so here I am."

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Orographic fog/cloud in the Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia

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Orographic fog/cloud ... More specifically, orographic waterfall cloud
because it looks like a waterfall

Location: Narrow Neck Plateau, Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia
Date: 2021-02-28, around 10:15 am
Photographer: John Graham

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Love and arguing in the rain

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This is love - couple arguing in the rain

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Married mummy stole linen wrapping

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One treasure hunter to another after opening an sarcophagus:
"Well, they were obviously married."

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Standing in front of TV

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Wife: I'm sick and tired of your selfishness.
         It's all YOU, YOU, YOU.
         Never a thought for me and MY feelings or needs.
         Well ?  Don't just sit there ... Haven't you got anything to say ?
Husband: You're standing in front of the TV.

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Long-term life goal

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In a job interview:

"What are your life goals ?"
"A new boat."
"I mean longer-term."
"Two new boats."

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Take pill before you wake up

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Doctor to patient:

Take one of these with water half-an-hour
before you wake up every morning.

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Stress ball

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Wait !
You mean to tell me that a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress me out ?
... Aunty Acid

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Aunty Acid on Noah's Ark

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The more I get to know people,
the more I understand why Noah only let animals on the boat. ... Aunty Acid

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Aunty Acid on chocolate

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Did you know ...
Chocolate makes your clothes shrink. ... Aunty Acid

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Prisoner wants to talk to his lawyer

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Prisoner:  I want to talk to my lawyer !
Lawyer:  (In prison)  I'm here !

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Lesson from hippo

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What do we learn from hippopotamuses ?

That it is impossible to reduce weight by
eating green grass and salads and walking.

Actually hippos can eat anything.
They are not strictly vegetarians.

Rhinos however maybe do eat healthier.
They are just horny hippos.

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Husband & dog missing

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Husband & dog missing
Reward for dog

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Use balloons to help you lose weight

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Oh, for heavens sake, Emily ...
stop cheating and
just go on a diet like everyone else !

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Cup for left-handed people

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Finally !
Someone made a coffee cup for left-handed people !

The way I see it, all cups should be like this, to cater for both left and right-handed people !

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Grotesque rock

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A grotesque rock  :-)
Looks like a cross between Predator and a crab.

Location: Coast Track in Royal National Park, NSW, Australia
Date: 2020-05-10

More pictures of the Coast Track are in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1x4gQ45uvVZ4pHkaREgHlSCZK1EywEZbS/view?usp=sharing

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Solar and wind power

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It dries the washing using the very latest technology -
a combination of solar and wind power.

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Baby in sink

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Baby in sink:

If you see my mom on Facebook,
please tell her that I'm still in the sink 😊

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Dog's jacket after man bought beer

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The wife said:
"Here's $20.
Get the dog a jacket.
If there's any money left over, get yourself a beer."

Miracle happens when you stare at keys long enough

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Wife:  What are you staring at, Earl ?
Husband:  That set of keys on the floor.
Wife:  These ?
Husband:  Thanks.  I knew if I looked at them long enough, someone would pick them up.

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Snake skin printed pajamas

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The woman wearing these snake skin printed pajamas was sleeping with her foot outside of the blanket and her husband thought it was snake. He ended up breaking her foot with a baseball bat.

True story ... ??? ... hhmmm ... not sure   :-)    Either way, good for a laugh   :-)

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Sphinx or penis ?

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An interesting rock that looks like a Sphinx ... or something else  :-)

- Location:  Ben Bullen State Forest, NSW, Australia
                    2.25 km north-north-west of Baal Bone Gap
                    Exactly halfway between Mercurys Boot and Baal Bone Point.
  If you walk along the ridge from Baal Bone Gap to Baal Bone Point, you won't miss it.

- Map:  Ben Bullen
- Grid Reference:  280 205
- Date:  2020-09-05 and 2020-10-15  Photographed during bushwalks

( A detailed trip report of the 2020-09-05 bushwalk is in this link:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2020/09/mercurys-boot-ben-bullen-to-baal-bone.html
In particular, the 2 pictures below are photos #32 and #33 of the link. )

After the trip, I registered the rock in BushExplorers Encyclopaedia as "Baal Sphinx Rock"
because it looks like a Sphinx.
( Refer to this link: https://www.bushexplorers.com.au/encyclopaedia/baal-sphinx-rock )


It could be worse.
I could have submitted the picture below and registered a different name  :-)
Looks like a human body part  :-)

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Submarine rock

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Two Submarine-like rocks:

1)  A rainbow-coloured rock
     Location: Coast Track in Royal National Park, NSW, Australia
     Date: 2020-05-10

More pictures of the Coast Track are in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1x4gQ45uvVZ4pHkaREgHlSCZK1EywEZbS/view?usp=sharing

2)  A pagoda-like rock
     Location: Ben Bullen State Forest, NSW, Australia
     Date: 2020-09-05 and 2020-10-15
     This rock can be climbed, but not so easy due to the gap (red oval) circling its entire base.

The 2020-09-05 detailed trip report is in this link:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2020/09/mercurys-boot-ben-bullen-to-baal-bone.html

Pictures of the 2020-10-15 bushwalking trip is in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ddJIJj_Rrhlk0AkqYOmfBvgHpL9pFyx0/view?usp=sharing

An appropriate name for it would be "Baal Submarine Pagoda".
One day, I would like to register this name with BushExplorers Encyclopaedia.

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Boy won fancy dress competition

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The boy won first prize
in school fancy dress competition.

His title was "I argued with my wife".

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Knife Block for women

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New !!   Latest Ladies Kitchen Accessory
"All man are bastards" knife block

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Life is like a penis

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Life is like a penis ...
simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely.
Then a woman makes it hard.

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Chinese Adam and Eve - 2

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If Adam and Eve were Chinese ...
They had roasted the snake !

(Instead of being tempted by the snake
to try the apple.)

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Nice toys for daddy

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Kid:   Daddy, why do you have to go to work
          every day ?
Dad:  To buy nice toys.
Kid:   But all of my toys are shit.
Dad:  LOL, mine ain't.

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Knee hurt when hiking

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How's your knee ?
Not bad. It only hurts when I walk.

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Thongs on tree

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Thongs on a tree ... Photographed in a bushwalk, 2020 April.

Address: 283 Lawrence Hargrave Dr (intersection with Paterson Rd), Coalcliff, NSW, Australia

The lower pics are Google street views captured in Dec 2013, more than 6 years ago. At the time, there were already thongs and shoes on the tree (red circle).

Photographs and trip report of the bushwalk are in my blog :
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2020/04/sea-cliff-bridge-coalcliff-dam.html
The tree is photo #2 in the above link.

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Mercurys Boot, Ben Bullen SF, NSW, Australia

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An amazing boot-like rock called Mercurys Boot
in Baal Bone area of Ben Bullen State Forest,
NSW, Australia

Grace on top of the Boot

Yus is like the Boot's shoelace knot.

Photographed during a bushwalk
in the Baal Bone area in 2020 September.

More pictures and a trip report are in this link:
   http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2020/09/mercurys-boot-ben-bullen-to-baal-bone.html

I have also written a book on this Baal Bone area.
Title: Photo Walks in the Baal Bone area NSW AUSTRALIA

The book is published by Amazon:
    Australian site:
    https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B09GJPWX7M
or
    Rest of the world:
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09GJPWX7M
    (If not available, get it from the Australian site.)

Detail of the book is in this link:
   https://mntviews.blogspot.com/p/pauls-published-books.html

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Sit and Shit

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Dog confuses Sit and Shit from masked voice  :-)

(During COVID-19 pandemic, wearing of a mask is either recommended or compulsory in many countries.)

Sit !!   ...   Damn mask.

Background:

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), also known as 2019-nCoV acute respiratory disease (2019-nCoV ARD), is a viral respiratory disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). It is the disease implicated in the 2019-2020 coronavirus pandemic.

The disease was first identified in the city of Wuhan, capital of Hubei province in China, among patients who had developed pneumonia of no clear cause. Amid rapid spread of the disease, the World Health Organization has since declared the outbreak to be a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC). Infections have been reported throughout the world, mostly of travelers originating from Mainland China, with local transmission also reported in many countries.


Non-COVID-19 version:

I said sit !  You idiot !

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Read

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Reading can seriously damage your ignorance.

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