A teacher's heart

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Doctor to teacher:
"Your heart is slightly larger than the average human heart, but that's because you're a teacher."

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Say no to Reincarnation

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Reformed Buddhists:
    Don't make the same mistake twice
    Say NO to reincarnation

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Ape with a phone

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Finally the fourth ape !
He is the sum of the first three:
He sees nobody, hears nobody and speaks to nobody.
(Modern day 4th ape should text to nobody !)

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Honesty

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In a job interview:

Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness ?
Girl: Honesty.
Interviewer: I don't think that honesty is a weakness.
Girl: I don't give a shit what you think.

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Doesn't Matter

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Along with "Anti-matter" and "Dark Matter", we've recently discovered "Doesn't Matter", which appears to have no effect on the universe whatsoever.

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Putangirua Pinnacles

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The amazing Putangirua Pinnacles in New Zealand North Island !
They are examples of hoodoo rocks.
More photographs of the Putangirua Pinnacles plus trip report are in my 2018-02 blog in this link:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2018/02/putangirua-pinnacles-new-zealand-north.html

( One of Australia's lone hoodoo rock, called the Totem Pole, is my 2017-10 blog:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2017/10/totem-pole-wollemi-nat-pk-nsw-australia.html )

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Chocolate

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11th commandment:
Eat your enemy and forgive yourself !

Photograph: Courtesy of Ciel Palacio
She is the beautiful girl in the above pic.

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Aim

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I aim to keep this bathroom clean ...
You aim will HELP !

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i before e

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i before e
Except when your foreign neighbour Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
Weird.

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Perfume for husband

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Two comics by Randy Glasbergen

My husband is a workaholic. Got any perfume that smells like a desk?

Above pic is photographed in a shop called "Fragrifert - Victorian Perfumery" at top of cable car station at Kelburn, Wellington, New Zealand.
2018-02-11


I want my husband to pay more attention to me. Got any perfume that smells like a computer?

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Cure for sore throat

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Female colleague 1:
Hi. It seems you are not well today ...

Female colleague 2:
Yes. I have a sore throat.
It seems that I will get ill ...

Female colleague 1:
I know a very good medicine for your throat.
Each time I have a sore throat
I blow my husband and the next day I am great.

Female colleague 2:
Hhmmm... Ok...

* * * * *  The following day  * * * * *

Female colleague 1:
Hi. Are you better today ?

Female colleague 2:
I'm fine. Your idea was great !
Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea !

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Open 7 Days

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Open 7 Days
Shop Hours
Open: When we're here !
Closed: When we ain't !

Photographer: Giuseppe Lucius A. Coletti   2018 Feb

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Climbing up a mountain

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Almost done !
Almost !!
Oh yes !
Oh shit !
Actually, life is like that too  :-(

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Tweedledee Tweedledum

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2018-01-26:  I was at Blacktown Showground, NSW, Australia, visiting "Alice in Wonderland" sand sculpture exhibition.

Here is Tweedledee Tweedledum.

Then, along came this pair of twin girls ... so cute !

They match up well with the theme of Tweedledee and Tweedledum !

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Matching colours

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Girl on beach ... with matching colour clothes

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Chemical formula of an orgasm

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Chemical composition of a Latina orgasm
    OH
    O
    Si

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Passwords are like underpants !

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Treat your passwords like your underpants
    - Change them often
    - ! Don't leave them lying around !
    - Don't share them

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Merry Xmas !

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Merry Xmas !

Australian Christmas Santa is made of sand on the beach  :-)

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Running away

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I don't know about you ...

But I've thought about running away
more as an adult than I ever did as a child.

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Climbing mountains

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Size of the hill your friend made you walk up on their hike ... larger than Earth and Jupiter !

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O  (on blackboard)

Student to teacher: "I thought you said the chemical composition for water was H to O."

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Old age shown up in joints

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Old age used to be in my head.  Now it's in my joints too.

Hhmmm ... Wait a minute ... Shouldn't it be the other way around? ...
    ... Old age used to be in my joints.  Now it's in my head too   :-)

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Lettuce died for vegetarian

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This lettuce died
... just so you could be a vegetarian !
Have a heart, eat a rock.

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I in Team

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The "I" in "Team" is hidden in "A" hole.

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Totem Pole, Wollemi National Park, NSW, Australia

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The Totem Pole
A stand-alone rock/earth pillar, about 6 meters tall.

- Location:
      • In a remote area of the Wollemi National Park, NSW, Australia
      • 16.5 km (as the crow flies) east-south-east of the small village of Newnes
      • 50 meters from the south bank of Wolgan River
      • Grid Ref: 576 199
      • UTM: 56H  0257639  6319973
      • Coordinate: -33.23204 150.3991

- Somehow, the pillar is made of material strongly bound together and resistant to weather erosion ... but how what why and when?  It is also protected somewhat by a capstone on its top, but that doesn't explain its continued existence.

- The capstone itself looks like a loose hat. Why hasn't it been blown away already ?

- Standing on a steep slope, the Totem Pole is also gravity-defying. You really have to wonder why it hasn't toppled over already !

- Our party to the Totem Pole today:
3 mad masochists - Neilson, Jimmy and I

- Detailed trip report, including our GPS tracklog files:
Click on this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2017/10/totem-pole-wollemi-nat-pk-nsw-australia.html

- Distance and time of the route we took from Newnes to the Totem Pole:
      • On firetrail: 17 km;  4 hrs 30 mins
      • On a disused road/track, some sections indistinct: 1.5 km;  40 mins
      • Scrub bashing: 6 km;  4 hrs
      • One-way total: 25 km;  9 hrs

- The return leg: It took us much longer, 11 hrs 40 minutes, slowed down by Neilson who developed leg & foot injuries.

- Total: 50 km;  21 hrs ... ALL IN ONE DAY !


Question

Is it worthwhile to walk 21 hrs just to see the Totem Pole ?
If you have to ask the question,
you wouldn't understand the answer !

Actually 3 women also started the trip with us.
But they quit much earlier.
Maybe they knew the answer  :-)


Some pictures - taken in 2017 October

Neilson and I at the south bank of Wolgan River
with the Totem Pole half way up the slope.

The above picture doesn't show it ...
The slope around this part of the river bank is very steep.


Neilson has climbed up to near the base of the Totem Pole.
From the pic, you can sort of get an idea of the steepness of the slope.

Jimmy beside the Totem Pole

Somehow, the pillar is made of material strongly bound together and resistant to erosion ... but how what why and when?  It is also protected somewhat by a capstone on its top, but that doesn't explain its continued existence. Standing on a steep slope, it is also gravity-defying. You really have to wonder why it hasn't toppled over already !

Just as well the Totem Pole is not easily accessible. Else all the climbing on the steep slope by visitors would cause enough soil erosion to soon send it tumbling down to the Wolgan River below.



Detailed trip report

A detailed trip report with our GPS tracklog files and more photos are in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2017/10/totem-pole-wollemi-nat-pk-nsw-australia.html


Post Script

1 - The Totem Pole is an example of a Hoodoo ... refer to this link in Wiki:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoodoo_(geology)

2 - I went to see the hoodoos, the Putangirua Pinnacles, in the Wellington Region of New Zealand North Island in February 2018. It is an amazingly outlandish place, like from an alien world. Photographs and a detailed trip report are in my blog:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2018/02/putangirua-pinnacles-new-zealand-north.html

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Optical illusion - perfect circle

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Believe or not - two perfect circles !

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Dinosaur turd

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These dinosaur poo photographs are funny.
And Freda Moxom is so cute 😊

Photographer: Tania Kayrala, 2017 October

Location: A cave in Rock Island,
Wollemi National Park,
NSW, Australia

I am joking, it is not dinosaur shit.
It is a stalagmite.

Now, in a limestone cave,
stalactites and stalagmites are composed
of deposition of calcium carbonate
and other minerals.

But here, it is formed by mud
dripping down from the ceiling.

A photograph of the ceiling of the same cave is:

Photographer: Paul Ma, 2017 September

Same location as the pics by Tania Kayrala

When a stalagmite reaches the ceiling,
it becomes a mud column ...
as in the 2 pics below:
(But I'm no where as cute as Freda.)

Photographer: David Hou, 2017 October

Location: near Goochs Crater,
Blue Mountains National Park,
NSW, Australia

By the way Goochs Crater is a wonderful place.

Photographs and trip report to there
are in my blog:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2017/10/goochs-crater-friday-canyon-dargan-arch.html

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Why do you climb mountains?

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Why do I climb mountains?
If you have to ask the question, you wouldn't understand the answer.

The mountain in the above pic is Castell y Gwynt. It is a top of Glyder Fach in Snowdonia, north-west Wales.

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Happiness for a woman ...

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Happiness is ... watchig the man of your life cooking for you.
(I thought happiness for a woman is when her husband finishes the food although it is not delicious.)

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To-do list

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I completed my to-do list for the day.  Yay !

Nothing !

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Old man's sex urge

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Old man in bed:
Do you think the doctor could give me
some pills to improve my sex urge ?

Woman:
No lad,
he can only heal the sick,
not raise the dead !"

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Inifinity

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Nine: "I'm greater than you!"
Eight (lying down): "What about now?"

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Bare breasts at beach

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Husband to wife:

Jesus Helen,
You can't go on to the beach like that !
It's obscene !

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Now

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Clocks that always show the correct time ... Now !

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Vibrator power too strong

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Researcher: "Experiment 43 with the Dilton Vibrator Special ... Need to cut down on power."

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