Little girl's prayer to God

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Dear God,
Please send some clothes for all those poor ladies
in daddy's computer.
Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for this food and
please send clothes for all those poor ladies
in daddy's computer.
Amen.

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Marriage

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Why do I have to get married ?
I didn't do anything wrong.

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Breast feeding baby's menu

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Baby choosing breasts from a menu

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Ran into my ex ...

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Ran into my ex ...
Put it in reverse and hit him again.

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In memory of Steve Jobs who went to Heaven on 2011-10-05

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Steve Jobs rings up Bill Gates from iCloud:

"Hi Bill Gates, guess where I'm calling you from ?"

Steve Jobs in iCloud to God about iHarp:

"When is the last time this device was upgraded ?
It really needs to be more user friendly.
Who's in charge of innovation up here ?
Is this available in other colours ?"

God to Steve Jobs in iCloud:

"To be honest, Mr Jobs,
the last time an Apple
caused so much excitement around here
involved Adam, Eve and a snake."

God in iCloud to Moses:

"Moses, meet Steve.
He's gonna upgrade your tablets."

"iCame, iSaw, iConquered"

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Gay and lesbian couples swap partners in car.

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Hey, what do you say we switch partners ?

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Halloween pumpkin

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Halloween

Pumpkin vomits after drinking too much.

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To understand woman needs a thick manual

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This is Part 1 ...
of a thick manual to understand woman.

Part 2  comes out in a few months' time.
Part 3  a year later.
And then  Part 4  and  Part 5.

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Why witches don't wear panties when they fly???

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In case y'all were wondering
why witches don't wear panties when they fly ??

Well, the reason is: Better Grip on the Broom !!!

Wishing you all a Happy Halloween !!!!

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Tarzan and Jane

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Tarzan and Jane swinging on trees
    and
the reason why Tarzan yelled: "iiiiiuuuaaaaahh" !

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Albert Einstein or Marilyn Monroe

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At normal screen viewing distance you should
see the face of the great scientist Albert Einstein.

If you are short sighted, take off your glasses.

Alternatively, squint your eyes, or
walk backwards far enough from the screen,
then you should be able to see Marilyn Monroe.

This Marilyn Einstein hybrid image was created
by Dr Aude Oliva for the March 31st 2007 issue
of New Scientist magazine.

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Hidden words in line patterns

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There are words hidden in these line patterns.

I can't sleep trying to find them.
Can you see the words?

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Always start dieting tomorrow

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I always start my diet on the same day ...
tomorrow.

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Condom machine rejects request from fat woman

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We have reviewed your request for condoms
and find you unsuitable to fuck.

Accordingly, we are returning your coins.

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Can you find the cat in this photo?

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Can you find the cat ?
It is well camouflaged in this photo.

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Be nice to fat people

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Be nice to fat people.
One day they might save your life.

Background:
Bear chasing hikers 😊

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Pussy looking up skirt

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"I don't see the resemblance"

Some comments people have made:

- There is no resemblance,
  because the other one is shaved.

- Maybe that cat isn't looking at
  a real Greek woman.

- Resemblance or not,
  their breath still smells like fish.

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Old woman sunbathe in the nude

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Why older women shouldn't sunbathe in the nude.

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Survey on foreigners

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A recent survey in the United Kingdom
asked the following question:

Are there too many foreigners in this country now ?

Ansower :
    18% said: YES
    82% said: ???  (I don't know Arabic 😭)

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Guess your sperm count in a fair

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Queues in carnival fair stalls  !!!  :-)

Guess your sperm count ... $20 ... long queue
Guess your weight ... $1 ... no queue

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Sex question - female, not 4 times a week!

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Interviewer to blonde:

In the line marked "sex",
you should have put 'Female' ...
Not 4 times a week !

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Eye test chart for men

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Eye test chart for men

The optometrist is a sadist !!!

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Wish your friends fat

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Please God,
if you can't make me thin,
make my friends fat !

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How the word Boob was invented

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How the word Boob was invented ...

Based on:
    - Top view   : B
    - Front view: OO
    - side view  : b

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Huaband enters bathroom, man ducks under water

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Hello, Darling, I'm home early !

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Will I really sink?

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Ooh, will I really sink
if you take your finger out, Mr Horniman ?

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Sex question

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Doctor: Do you indulge in sex, miss ?
Girl:       Infrequently, doctor !
Doctor: Is that one word or two ?

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Marabou Stork

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Marabou Stork live in Africa, south of the Sahara.
It has a large sac at its throat.

How weird !!!

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Northern Ireland, Giant's Causeway

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The Giant's Causeway is an area of about
40,000 interlocking basalt columns,
the result of an ancient volcanic eruption.

It is located in County Antrim on the
northeast coast of Northern Ireland,
about 4.8 km northeast of the town of Bushmills.

More details are in:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant's_Causeway

Many thanks to Vivienne Bartle for
sharing the following 2 photos.

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Road signs to Senior Center

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Road signs to:

Senior Center
    - Don't forget
    - Remember to turn !
    - Wake up !
    - Lunch only $4
    - Turn now

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Barrack Obama ogling a woman's bum

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Here is US President Barrack Obama,
appearing to be distracted ...
ogling at a rather shapely female's bottoms.

The President of France, Nicholas Sarkozy,
appears to be watching him,
with a smirk on his face !

Well, no harm done.

After all Mr Obama is also just another
vulnerable man 😊

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2011 June - Sydney Vivid Festival, Sydney Opera House lit up at night

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2011 June - Sydney Vivid Festival

Sydney Opera House lit up at night

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Innovative product evolution: iPhone to iPad to iBoard to iMat

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2008  iPhone
2010  iPad
2012  iBoard
2014  iMat

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Osama bin Laden planking on top of World Trade Centre twin towers

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With the recent craze on Planking,
even Osama Bin Laden wants to do it.

Note:
Planking is the act of lying still horizontally
on crazy places.

Reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planking_(fad)

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Conversation between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates

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Conversation between:
    Steve Jobs  of Apple
    Bill Gates    of Microsoft


Steve Jobs: Remember when we were poor ?
Bill Gates:    No.
Steve Jobs: Me neither.
Hehehe  Hehehe

Bill Gates:    I went to a bank yesterday
                      to talk about a loan.
Steve Jobs: Why do you need a loan for ?
Bill Gates:    I don't, the bank does.
Hehehe  Hehehe

Steve Jobs: Let's flip a coin.
Bill Gates:    Flip what ?
Hehehe  Hehehe

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Strange spider web

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Does any one know the name of the spider
which weaves this unusual spider web ?

Note that the web is dense at the centre,
sparse at the middle rings,
then dense again at the outer rings.

Quite unusual.

Date & Location
2011-05
Great North Walk bush trail
Sydney region of NSW, Australia

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