Shadow like penis, frightens women

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Shadow of man with 2 pieces of luggage ...

He is like a penis,
frightens the shit out of women !

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Who is hugging whom?

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Is the guy sitting and the girl is hugging him ?
Or is the girl sitting and the guy is hugging her ?

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Proof of Pi = 4 ?

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Draw a circle.
Draw a square around it.  Perimeter = 4
Remove corners.  Perimeter is still 4 !
Remove more corners.  Perimeter is still 4 !
Repeat to infinity.
Pi = 4 !

Problem Archimedes ?

The more general question is:

If you approximate a curve
by a series of straight lines,
how do you know
when you use smaller and smaller straight lines,
in the limit,
the sum of lenghs of these small straight lines
will be the length of the curve ?

I suspect it has something to do with
differentiability.

If you approximate a curve
by smaller and smaller corners,
in the limit,
the 1st order differential of the resulting curve
is no where continuous.

Whereas if you aproximate the curve
by the hypotenuse of the small corners,
the resulting curve's 1st differential
will be continuous when the hypotenuses
become smaller and smaller.

Thus the lenghts of the hypotenuses
will be able to approximate the length of the curve.

I will leave you to fill in the missing details
on why a continuous 1st order defferential
will enable the lengths of a series of
small straight lines to be able to approximate
the length of the curve.

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Fire rainbow

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A rare fire rainbow, by Schristia.

Her photo gallery is in this link:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/schristia

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How my cats see me

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How my cats see me

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Tsunami-like fog waves

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Tsunami-like fog waves

Panama City Beach, Florida
2012-Feb-05

Photos by JR Hott
https://photoblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/10/10375026-spectacular-cloud-tsunami-rolls-over-florida-high-rise-condos

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Difference between man and woman

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Men are like Bluetooth:
He is connected to you when you are nearby,
but searches for other devices when you are away.

Women are like WiFi:
She sees all available devices
but connects to the strongest one.

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Granddad remembers the good old days ...

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Granddad: (Remembering the good old days)

When I was a boy, my momma would send me
down to a corner store with $1,
and I'd come back with
    -  5 bags of potatoes
    -  2 loaves of bread
    -  3 bottle of milk
    -  a hunk of cheese
    -  a box of tea
    -  and 6 eggs.

You can't do it now.
Too many fucking security cameras.

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Difference between man and woman

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A man without a woman is a bachelor.
A woman without a man is a genius.

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Computer takes over our lives

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Computer takes over our lives ... before and now

Computer takes over our lives ... birthday

Before: WOW, just look at all these presents.
Now:     WOW, look how many people
              remembered me on Facebook.

Computer takes over our lives ... playing football

Before: Mum, I'm just going out to play football.
Now:     But mum, I'm playing football.

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Husband hands wife a gun instead of a hair dryer

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Darling, please give me the hair dryer.

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Giant Santa sand sculpture

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Giant Santa sand sculpture on the beach

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Applying for a job at IKEA

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In a job interview at IKEA

Interviewer to job applicant:
Make a chair and take a seat.

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Elephant's trunk feels up woman's skirt

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Haha !

A naughty baby elephant's trunk
feels up a woman's skirt !

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Little girl's prayer to God

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Dear God,
Please send some clothes for all those poor ladies
in daddy's computer.
Amen.

Dear God,
Thank you for this food and
please send clothes for all those poor ladies
in daddy's computer.
Amen.

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Marriage

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Why do I have to get married ?
I didn't do anything wrong.

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Breast feeding baby's menu

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Baby choosing breasts from a menu

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Ran into my ex ...

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Ran into my ex ...
Put it in reverse and hit him again.

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In memory of Steve Jobs who went to Heaven on 2011-10-05

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Steve Jobs rings up Bill Gates from iCloud:

"Hi Bill Gates, guess where I'm calling you from ?"

Steve Jobs in iCloud to God about iHarp:

"When is the last time this device was upgraded ?
It really needs to be more user friendly.
Who's in charge of innovation up here ?
Is this available in other colours ?"

God to Steve Jobs in iCloud:

"To be honest, Mr Jobs,
the last time an Apple
caused so much excitement around here
involved Adam, Eve and a snake."

God in iCloud to Moses:

"Moses, meet Steve.
He's gonna upgrade your tablets."

"iCame, iSaw, iConquered"

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Gay and lesbian couples swap partners in car.

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Hey, what do you say we switch partners ?

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Halloween pumpkin

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Halloween

Pumpkin vomits after drinking too much.

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To understand woman needs a thick manual

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This is Part 1 ...
of a thick manual to understand woman.

Part 2  comes out in a few months' time.
Part 3  a year later.
And then  Part 4  and  Part 5.

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Why witches don't wear panties when they fly???

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In case y'all were wondering
why witches don't wear panties when they fly ??

Well, the reason is: Better Grip on the Broom !!!

Wishing you all a Happy Halloween !!!!

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Tarzan and Jane

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Tarzan and Jane swinging on trees
    and
the reason why Tarzan yelled: "iiiiiuuuaaaaahh" !

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Albert Einstein or Marilyn Monroe

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At normal screen viewing distance you should
see the face of the great scientist Albert Einstein.

If you are short sighted, take off your glasses.

Alternatively, squint your eyes, or
walk backwards far enough from the screen,
then you should be able to see Marilyn Monroe.

This Marilyn Einstein hybrid image was created
by Dr Aude Oliva for the March 31st 2007 issue
of New Scientist magazine.

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Hidden words in line patterns

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There are words hidden in these line patterns.

I can't sleep trying to find them.
Can you see the words?

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Always start dieting tomorrow

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I always start my diet on the same day ...
tomorrow.

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Condom machine rejects request from fat woman

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We have reviewed your request for condoms
and find you unsuitable to fuck.

Accordingly, we are returning your coins.

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Can you find the cat in this photo?

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Can you find the cat ?
It is well camouflaged in this photo.

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Be nice to fat people

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Be nice to fat people.
One day they might save your life.

Background:
Bear chasing hikers 😊

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Pussy looking up skirt

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"I don't see the resemblance"

Some comments people have made:

- There is no resemblance,
  because the other one is shaved.

- Maybe that cat isn't looking at
  a real Greek woman.

- Resemblance or not,
  their breath still smells like fish.

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Old woman sunbathe in the nude

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Why older women shouldn't sunbathe in the nude.

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Survey on foreigners

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A recent survey in the United Kingdom
asked the following question:

Are there too many foreigners in this country now ?

Ansower :
    18% said: YES
    82% said: ???  (I don't know Arabic 😭)

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Guess your sperm count in a fair

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Queues in carnival fair stalls  !!!  :-)

Guess your sperm count ... $20 ... long queue
Guess your weight ... $1 ... no queue

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Sex question - female, not 4 times a week!

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Interviewer to blonde:

In the line marked "sex",
you should have put 'Female' ...
Not 4 times a week !

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Eye test chart for men

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Eye test chart for men

The optometrist is a sadist !!!

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Wish your friends fat

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Please God,
if you can't make me thin,
make my friends fat !

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