Wife to family dog: "My gorgeous darling, I love you soooo much. My beautiful, adorable bundle of joy. You make me so happy! I love you, love you, love you!"
Last night I said to my boyfriend, "I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table."
So he climbs into bed very slowly and says, "Honey, would you please pass me the pussy?"
To mom:
I'm hungry ...
I'm cold ...
I'm hot ...
Can I have ... ?
I want to watch ...
Where are you ?
Can you ask Dad ?
Can you help me ... ?
He hurt me ...
She hurt me ...
I want to go there ...
When are we ... ?
Why are we ... ?
Why can't we ... ?
Over the past few weeks,
I have received many funny images or jokes and
I have emailed them to friends and colleagues
who I thought shared the same sense of humour.
Unfortunately, I seem to have upset a few people
and received criticism for being
sexist and shallow.
So, from now on,
I am only emailing content of general interest
to all persons of sensibility and good taste.
Content such as:
- natural beauty
- phenomena
- places of historical significance
- or general interest.
I am sure you will all agree the attached picture
of the Pont Neuf Bridge, Toulouse, France,
has great historical value
surrounded by phenomenal natural beauty.
It is an uncommon phenomenon, the result of diffraction ... small droplets of water or small crystals of ice individually scattering light.
If the small droplets/crystals are of similar size, their cumulative effect is seen as iridescent colours. The cloud must be optically thin, so that most rays encounter only a single droplet. Iridescence is therefore mostly seen at cloud edges or in semi-transparent clouds. You may have seen this type of cloud in your own travel, or seen more colourful photos on the internet. But it is so much sweeter if you can capture it with your own camera.
Acripeza reticulata (Mountain Katydid, also known as Mountain Grasshopper) ~~~
The one on left and also the one on top-right is a female. When its wings are folded, it looks like a small lump of dirt and is not easy to be spotted. But when its wings are spread out, you can see the beautiful red, blue & black bands on its body.
The male is much skinnier - bottom-right. Just looking at the photo, you wouldn't have imagined they are the same insect !
In the centre of the below image, taken with the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope, is the galaxy cluster SDSS J1038+4849 ... and it seems to be smiling.
You can make out its two orange eyes and white button nose. In the case of this “happy face”, the two eyes are very bright galaxies and the misleading smile lines are actually arcs caused by an effect known as strong gravitational lensing.
Galaxy clusters are the most massive structures in the Universe and exert such a powerful gravitational pull that they warp the spacetime around them and act as cosmic lenses which can magnify, distort and bend the light behind them. This phenomenon, crucial to many of Hubble’s discoveries, can be explained by Einstein’s theory of general relativity.
In this special case of gravitational lensing, a ring (known as an Einstein Ring) is produced from this bending of light, a consequence of the exact and symmetrical alignment of the source, lens and observer and resulting in the ring-like structure we see here.
The wolf spider is the only species of spider that carries its offspring this way - live, hatched and wriggling on her back!
After a gestation of 9 to 27 days (dependent on temperature) during which the eggs are carried around in a silk globe attached to the mothers stomach, the offspring hatch and climb on to her back. They stay there until they're ready to hunt alone.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having a brain is great news for stupid people.
(Actually, this is great news for the human race too, and especially me. But wait, that means people in my office will be there forever.)