Darling, I'm home

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(In a pub)

Woman 1:
What's the worst thing your husband said
while you were having sex ?

Woman 2:
Hi, Darling, I'm home.

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Santa came twice

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I'm so good, Santa came twice.!

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Survey on sexual intercourse

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(Woman doing a survey)

Woman:
Excuse me sir, we're doing a survey.
Tell me, do you talk to your wife
during sexual intercourse ?

Guy:
Actually, I do try to dear ...
If there's a phone handy !

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Too late !

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In a hospital ...
Women's ward ...

One woman to another:
I didn't see him coming till it was too late !

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Conversation about sleeping with husband

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Woman 1:  I sleep with my husband 3 time a week.
Woman 2:  I only do so once a week.
Woman 1:  But you don't have a husband !

Woman 2:
    Oh,
    I thought we were talking about your husband.

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Let's go dutch

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Girl to an older man:
    Let's go dutch this evening.
    You pay for supper and drinks.
    Then the rest of your night will be on me.

(She means ... in me.
And also  over me,  under me,  behind me 😊)

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Santa finds couple having sex on couch

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(Santa
down chimney
finds couple having sex on couch 😃)

Santa:  Errr ... We'll pop back later.

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How peeping tom uses a trampoline

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Guy to girl while having sex:

"So next door have got a trampoline !
What does it matter ?"

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Russian girls say Putin

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Plenty of jokes on Vladimir Putin
when he ordered the Russian army
to invade Ukraine in February 2022.

Here is one:

In Russia, we girls don't say yes to sex ...
We say "Putin" 😊

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Where do babies come from ?

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Child:  Mummy ?  Where do babies come from ?

Mother:  Oh ... Erm ... Well dear,
a mummy and daddy fall in love and get married.
Then one night they go into the bedroom
and they kiss and hug and have sex ...
That means the daddy puts his penis
into the mummy's vagina ...
And that's how you get a baby, honey.

Child:  Oh okay ...
But the other night I went into your bedroom
and dad put his penis in your mouth !
What do you get when you do that ?

Mother:

Mother:  Jewelry

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Calories burnt during sex among different races

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Japanese:  We burn almost 300 calories during intercourse.
European:  We burn almost 500 calories.
African:      Ya man, we hit harder and we burn 1000 calories during each sexual encounter.
Indian:        Bro, our 2000 calories are spent only in persuading the wife for sex.   :-)

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Coronavirus / COVID-19 vaccine

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"Are you sure this is the Coronavirus vaccine ?"
"Sure"

Background

It is taking a long time to develop a vaccine
for the Coronavirus.

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19),
also known as
    2019-nCoV acute respiratory disease
    (2019-nCoV ARD),
is a viral respiratory disease caused by
severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2
    (SARS-CoV-2).

It is the disease implicated in the
2019-2020 coronavirus pandemic.

The disease was first identified
in the city of Wuhan,
capital of Hubei province in China,
among patients who had developed pneumonia
of no clear cause.

Amid rapid spread of the disease,
the World Health Organization
has since declared the outbreak to be a
Public Health Emergency of International Concern
(PHEIC).

Infections have been reported
throughout the world;
mostly of travelers originating
from Mainland China,
with local transmission also reported
in many countries.

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2542SEX

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Car number plate in Bolivia :  2542SEX
(Such a number plate would not be allowed in Australia !)

Photographer: Nong Noc
Bolivia   2020 January 29

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Love is blind

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Love is blind
and it will soon come to a sticky end.

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How to explain sex to children

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Another way of using pens ...
to explain sex to children !

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Sit on a problem

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(Woman sitting on top of a guy)

I'm not sure if I want to marry you, Jack !
I'll sit on it for a while.

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Electricity power outlet sex

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Sex in the eye of an electrician ...

Nothing more dangerous
than an electrician with a pen

I'll never look at a power outlet the same again !

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Caterpillars having mass orgy sex in Mt Bogong, Vic, Australia

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Perga affinis (Spitfire Sawfly) ...
Are they have mass orgy sex ?


1)
Photo taken in 2006 January
on Staircase Spur trail
while climbing Mt Bogong, Vic, Australia

Trip report is in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2009/04/bogong-vic-australia.html

2, 3)
Photos taken in 2011 March on Staircase Spur trail
while climbing Mt Bogong, Vic, Australia

Trip report is in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2011/03/bogong-vic-australia-west-peak.html

Spitfire Sawfly are not true caterpillars.
They are the larvae of a wasp,
or more accurately a Symphytan.

These larvae are gregarious.

They are often found in a mass
of many individuals
on the ground or on Eucalyptus tree trunks.

When disturbed,
they exude a nasty smelling fluid
from their mouths.

This latter habit has given them
the common name of "Spitfires",
although they do not actually spit the fluid,
just dribble it.

The larvae also are inclined to tap their tails
in some form of communication with the group.

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Letter to Dr Ruth

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Dear Dr Ruth,
I'm writing to tell you my problem.
It seems I have been married to
a sex maniac for the past 22 years.

He makes love to me regardless what I am doing:
ironing, washing dishes, sweeping etc.

I would like to know if there is anything you ...

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Kangaroo sex

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Kangaroo sex ...

One reason why you don't want to
take a child to a zoo or animal park.

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