Enough money for 3 beers only

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Daughter: Daddy, I want ice cream !

Daddy: Believe me, me too honey.
But mommy only gave us enough money for
3 beers !

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Not that sick to drink water

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Old woman explaining health:

"For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch.
And I when have a cold, I drink Schnapps."

"When do you drink water ?"

"I've never been that sick."

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Dog's jacket after man bought beer

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The wife said:
"Here's $20.
Get the dog a jacket.
If there's any money left over, get yourself a beer."

Soup of the day

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Soup of the day
Cold beer

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Husband never listens

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Wife:
You never listen to me.
You only hear what you want to hear.

Husband:
Sure, I'll have a beer.

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One glass a day

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I limit myself to one glass of wine a day.

My doctor said, "Only 1 glass of alcohol a day."

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