Enjoy life

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Old woman's advice to little girl on life:
It is only a short trip, enjoy it.

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Not that sick to drink water

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Old woman explaining health:

"For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch.
And I when have a cold, I drink Schnapps."

"When do you drink water ?"

"I've never been that sick."

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Swollen knees :-)

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Husband to wife:

"Are your knees swollen ?
Or are you going braless again ?

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Old woman needs glasses to watch news

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Old woman to husband:

"If we're gonna watch the news,
I'll need my glasses ..."

     [ Fetching 2 glasses of wine ]

"That's better."

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Face of girl or old woman?

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What do you see ?
The face of a girl or an old woman?

The transformation between a girl and an old woman:
- The girl's ear is the old woman's eye.
- The girl's neckline is the old woman's mouth.

Another similar picture:

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Perfect eyesight

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Wife: "I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell. How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits?"
Husband: "Your eyesight is perfect."

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Best form of birth control after 50

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And then she asked "What's the best form of birth control after 50?"
I said "Nudity"

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Eye sight failing

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Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older.
It's natures way of protecting you from shock as you walk pass the mirror.

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Old woman wants a pat down, not flying.

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Old woman to airport security officer:

Oh, I'm not flying anywhere.
I'm just here for the pat down.

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Old woman sunbathe in the nude

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Why older women shouldn't sunbathe in the nude.

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Woman driving dog

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How do you know when it is time to stop driving?

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3 Stages of Life

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The 3 stages of life ...
Succinctly illustrated by women's bums.

1)  Kids' bums

2)  Young women's bums

3)  Old women's bums

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