Mother advises son's girlfriend

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Son to mum:  Mum, meet my girlfriend.
Mum:  You deserve better.  Don't settle for this.
Son  :  But mum, I love her !
Mum:  I'm talking to her.

Mother knows best !

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Dangerous Sports with girlfriend

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Guy 1:  Do you play any dangerous sports ?
Guy 2:  Sometimes, I disagree with my girlfriend.

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Santa went to old girlfriend's house

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Santa to wife:
     Ok !  Yes !
     I went to my old girlfriend's house last night !
     It's my job!.

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Embrace your mistakes

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I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes.
She hugged me.

Photo credit to FreePik:
https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/portrait-beautiful-young-woman-embracing-her-boyfriend-from_4648646.htm

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Strap phone to girl's forehead

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Girlfriend to boyfriend:
"Do you mind if I strap your phone to my forehead so I can pretend you're looking at me when I talk?

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Happy Valentine's Day ... bring your girlfriend !

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Happy Valentine's Day !
Bring ur GF: 20% off
Bring ur Wife: 40% off
Bring both at the same time: FREE
Free transportation to the hospital

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Craig's postings on lampposts

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FOR SALE

This lamppost. As is where is.
Light fittings and chattels included.

$50 ONO  or
will consider swap for a children's play house
and have a slab of beer.

Meet me here at midnight if you're interested.

You may need a spade.

-- Craig

LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND.

I'm 35
and I have an extensive DVD collection.

I can cook a little
and will even do some cleaning.

If you have a big TV
then meet me here at 6pm Friday
and we can go on a date.

It'll be fun.

I'll be wearing
    one white thong
    one brown thong
so you can recognise me.

-- Craig

SOCKS

Apparently there is a $500 fine for
putting signs up on lampposts in this area.

If you see me putting this up
can you do me a favour
and not tell anybody ?
Thanks.

While you're doing me favours,
what are you like at darning ?

It seems to be a lost skill in this disposable age.

So if you can't darn then it'll be fine
if you just get me a new pair of socks
(size 13).

Thanks again.
-- Craig

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