Today's pupil

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Pupil to teacher in front of a classroom :

I don't want to scare you.
But pop says if I don't get better report cards,
Someone is going to get a good spanking !

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Jonah swallwed by whale; teacher goes to Hell

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Teacher: It's physically impossible
                for a whale to swallow a human
                because, even though it's a large mammal,
                its throat is very small.

Student: Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Teacher: Again, it's physically impossible !

Student: Well, when I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.

Teacher: What if Jonah went to Hell ?

Student: Then you ask him.

Actually,
the Bible says Jonah was swallowed by a big fish.

And whale ain't fish.

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Newton's 4th law of motion

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Newton's lesser known 4th law of motion

A student in bed will remain in bed,
unless acted upon by a large enough panic.

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Only in USA

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(In a classroom)

Before: Students gave flowers to teachers.
Now:     Students point guns at teachers.

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Children in the dark make mistakes

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English teacher:
    Give me the opposite of this sentence:
    "Children in the dark make mistakes."

Student:
    "Mistakes in the dark make children."

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O  (on blackboard)

Student to teacher: "I thought you said the chemical composition for water was H to O."

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Cheating in exam

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Such a brilliance and audaciousness !!!

This guy has a bright future
regardless how he goes in the exams.

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Student's bad grade

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Parents to teacher:
Explain these bad grades ?  ... before and now

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Cheating during exam

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Teachers call it cheating.
We call it teamwork.

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