Short thriller in a library

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(In a library)
Patron to librarian:

Don't bother to come down Miss.
I can see where the short thrillers are !

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One yank and they are off

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One woman to another (on a 3rd woman):

She wears cheap knickers ...
One yank and they are off.

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Pull strings

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(Seaview Hotel ... Full)

Hotel reception clerk to curvy buxom lady:
To get you a room, I'll have to pull a few strings.

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Santa came twice

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I'm so good, Santa came twice.!

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Stiff one first ?

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Woman to guy:
    I had like a drink.
    And I want a stiff one.

Guy:
    Ok, love.
    But do you want the stiff one first ?

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Grown up

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I finally know why they call me a grown up.
I groan every time I get up.

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Let's go dutch

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Girl to an older man:
    Let's go dutch this evening.
    You pay for supper and drinks.
    Then the rest of your night will be on me.

(She means ... in me.
And also  over me,  under me,  behind me 😊)

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One word or two ?

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In a rest home ~~~

Old man     : How do you feel about sex ?
Old woman: I like it infrequently.
Old man     : Is that one word or two ?

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Inca Hoots

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Peruvian owls always hunt in pairs.
It's because they are Inca hoots.

You just can't help cracking up on this pun !

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Hippocritical

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One hippo to another: "You are fat."

"That's very hippocritical," retorted the other.

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Sex question

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Doctor: Do you indulge in sex, miss ?
Girl:       Infrequently, doctor !
Doctor: Is that one word or two ?

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