Doctor is drunk

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Doctor to female patient:
I can't find anything wrong.
It must be the drink !

Women:
I'll come back when you are sober then, Doctor.

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Stiff one first ?

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Woman to guy:
    I had like a drink.
    And I want a stiff one.

Guy:
    Ok, love.
    But do you want the stiff one first ?

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Let's go dutch

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Girl to an older man:
    Let's go dutch this evening.
    You pay for supper and drinks.
    Then the rest of your night will be on me.

(She means ... in me.
And also  over me,  under me,  behind me 😊)

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Having another drink

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Guy:
If I have another drink, I shall feel it in the morning.

Woman:
If I have another drink, you can feel it tonight !

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Another year, another resolution

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I made a New Year's resolution:
To drink more water.

I've only gotten as far as "drink more".

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Nutritious fact on water

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Nutritious Fact:

If you drink a gallon of water per day,
you won't have time for other people's drama,
because you'll be too busy peeing.

Stay hydrated, my friends.

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Room for Vodka

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Pessimist - glass is half empty.
Optimist - glass is half full.
Me - Yay! There is room for vodka!

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Mother drinks because of you

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Don't forget to pick up a bottle of wine for your mom on Mother's Day.
After all, you are one of the reasons she drinks.

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Glass turned upside down

The difference between Drink and Drunk is whether the glass is full or empty.

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One glass a day

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I limit myself to one glass of wine a day.

My doctor said, "Only 1 glass of alcohol a day."

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Special Offer

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Special Offer - 2 drinks for the price of 2 drinks

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Having a drink - difference between man and woman

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Having a drink ...
The difference between man and woman.

And thank God you are a man.

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