Woman consulting to doctor:
I have two green marks
on the inside of my thighs,
doctor.
Doctor:
Does you husband have pierced ears ?
Woman:
Yes. Why ?
Doctor:
Tell him, his earrings aren't real gold.
(If the doctor is any good,
he should place his hands
on the inside of her thighs to feel the marks
😊)
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Wife seeking advice from doctor ...
Woman consulting to doctor:
Doctor, my husband talks in his sleep at night.
Doctor:
Give him the opportunity to speak during the day.
Comments:
1.
Keep on speaking.
He will be silent also at night.
2.
My wife said I havent spoken to her in 3 weeks.
I said I don't like to interrupt her.
3.
The Japanaese have invented a camera
with a shutter lens so fast
it can actually capture the image of a woman
with her mouth closed.
Only joking ...
No camera could have a shutter speed that fast !!!
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Son to mum: Mum, meet my girlfriend.
Mum: You deserve better. Don't settle for this.
Son : But mum, I love her !
Mum: I'm talking to her.
Mother knows best !
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Woman to doctor: (seeking advice)
"Doctor,
Can you prescribe something
to stop me from sleepwalking ?"
Doctor:
"No, you need the exercise !"
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Female colleague 1:
Hi. It seems you are not well today ...
Female colleague 2:
Yes. I have a sore throat.
It seems that I will get ill ...
Female colleague 1:
I know a very good medicine for your throat.
Each time I have a sore throat
I blow my husband and the next day I am great.
Female colleague 2:
Hhmmm... Ok...
* * * * * The following day * * * * *
Female colleague 1:
Hi. Are you better today ?
Female colleague 2:
I'm fine. Your idea was great !
Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea !
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Planned Parenthood
Entrance in Rear
Northampton General Hospital
- Family planning advice
- Use rear entrance
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Doctor to wife:
"Your husband is suffering
from a very severe stress disorder.
If you don't do the following he will surely die.
Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal.
For dinner prepare an especially nice meal.
No chores.
No nagging.
Oh yes, and make love several times a week.
Do this for the next year
and he'll regain his health completely !"
Husband to wife: "What did the doctor day ?"
Wife to husband: "You're going to die !"
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