In neighbour's bed

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(Guy ... in neighbour's bed)

Woman: WOW !  You are drunk.
Guy:       Oh yeah.  How can you tell ?
Woman: You live next door.

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Luck dip into woman's breast

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(In a carnival fair, at a Lucky Dip stall)

Woman to guy:
Watch it mate. You're not that lucky !

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Boat ran out of petrol

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Guy to girl ... on a date, in a boat:

The last time I ran out of petrol,
you walked home alone.
Can you swim ?

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Stiff one first ?

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Woman to guy:
    I had like a drink.
    And I want a stiff one.

Guy:
    Ok, love.
    But do you want the stiff one first ?

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Let's go dutch

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Girl to an older man:
    Let's go dutch this evening.
    You pay for supper and drinks.
    Then the rest of your night will be on me.

(She means ... in me.
And also  over me,  under me,  behind me 😊)

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Having another drink

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Guy:
If I have another drink, I shall feel it in the morning.

Woman:
If I have another drink, you can feel it tonight !

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Breasts on the menu

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In a restaurant

Woman:
    See anything you fancy on the menu, Joe ?

Joe:
    Yes, your yummy breasts !

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Women outpace men when jogging

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One woman to another:
"It's great how we always manage to outpace all the guys when we go jogging !"

Personally ...
I rather run in front ... backward of course !

Although ...
I've always been behind the women's movement.

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Alcohol is bad for women's legs

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Guy      : May I buy you a drink ?
Woman: Oh, no thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy      : Do they swell ?
Woman: No, they spread.

Guy      : May I buy you a cocktail ?
Woman: Alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy      : Do they swell ?
Woman: No. They spread.

Woman 1: I had to stop drinking alcohol because of my legs.
Woman 2: Why, do they swell ?
Woman 1: No, they spread.

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Optical illusion - man / woman's face

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Optical illusion
You can see a man face; you can also see a woman's face   :-)

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Strap phone to girl's forehead

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Girlfriend to boyfriend:
"Do you mind if I strap your phone to my forehead so I can pretend you're looking at me when I talk?

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Same face for male and female

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In this illusion by Richard Russell, the same face appears to be female when the skin tone is made lighter (left image) and male when the skin tone is made darker (right image).

The illusion works because changing the skin tone affects the face’s contrast – the difference between the darkest parts of the face (lips and eyes) and lightest parts (the skin).

Few would regard facial contrast as a defining feature of either sex, but in fact, contrast is on average higher in females than males.

Even without consciously knowing it, our brains are attuned to the difference in contrast between the sexes, and so contrast is one cue the brain uses to determine gender. When other cues are removed, contrast can be the deciding factor.

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Nagging woman

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Behind every nagging woman is a man not doing what he is supposed to do.

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Men - Really are from Mars

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Last night I said to my boyfriend, "I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table."
So he climbs into bed very slowly and says, "Honey, would you please pass me the pussy?"

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Women are always right !

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Men to the left because women are always right !

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Penis guard

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Penis guard for man on beach

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Newton's 3rd law of emotion

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Newton's Third Law of Emotion:
   For every male action,
   There is a female over reaction.

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Will I really sink?

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Ooh, will I really sink
if you take your finger out, Mr Horniman ?

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If women rule the world

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If women ruled the world ...

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Chances of a man winning an argument - as explained by a mathematician

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Woman - as explained by a mathematician

Chances of a man winning an argument ...

During :
    -  Dating
    -  Engagement
    -  Marriage period

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