Oxypetalum coeruleum

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Oxypetalum coeruleum (Blue Milkweed), formerly known as Tweedia caerulea

Caught in the act is a crab spider grabbing a bee !!!

Photographer: Johanna Evans
Date: 2021 December
Location: Tamworth, NSW, Australia

Oxypetalum coeruleum is native to South America from southern Brazil to Uruguay.
Now naturalised in some parts of eastern Australia.

It has the United Kingdom Royal Horticultural Society's Award of "Garden Merit" ... whatever that means  :-)

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Sodium joke

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I wanted to post a joke about Sodium.
But then I was like ...
Na ... People won't get it   :-(   :-(   :-(

Comment:
    Could pour water on this one but might get quite a reaction !!!

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Wife's manicured fingernails

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Angry wife's new manicured fingernails

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2-door Mercedes

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I got a date with a beautiful young lady tonight.
And she asked me what car I will be driving.

I say: Mercedes with 2 doors.
She says: Give me some time to dress up.

Hope tonight will be a great dating.

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Where do babies come from ?

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Child:  Mummy ?  Where do babies come from ?

Mother:  Oh ... Erm ... Well dear, a mummy and daddy fall in love and get married. Then one night they go into the bedroom and they kiss and hug and have sex ... That means the daddy puts his penis into the mummy's vagina ... And that's how you get a baby, honey.

Child:  Oh okay ... But the other night I went into your bedroom and dad put his penis in your mouth !  What do you get when you do that ?

Mother:

Mother:  Jewelry

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away

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A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
The doctor used to give the girl a rose daily.
The engineer used to give her an apple.
Girl got confused and asked the engineer:
    "There is a meaning of giving rose. Why are you giving apple ?"
Engineer replied: "Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

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Street artist portraying a Muslim woman

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Somedays you just get an easy one !

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Career in organized crime

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Son: Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime.
Dad: Government or public sector ?

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You need a new belt

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Car mechanic to woman:
Yep.  There's your problem.  You need a new belt.

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Photo walks in the Baal Bone area

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I have created soft & hard-cover books on the Baal Bone area of NSW, Australia.
Title: Photo Walks in the Baal Bone Area NSW AUSTRALIA

As the title suggests, there are more photographs than words  :-)

The books are published by Amazon:
    Australian site:     https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B09GJPWX7M
or
    Rest of the world: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09GJPWX7M
    (If not available, you'll have to get it from the Australian site.)


Front Cover & Spine

Back cover

Above is soft-cover's back cover with ISBN 979-8478166120
Hard-cover's ISBN is 979-8481671802


Book description

Photo journals of four bushwalks in the Baal Bone area of NSW, Australia.
Photographs are used extensively to illustrate the beauty of this part of the Australian scenery.


Preview of a few pages of the book

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jepzRkD4RMTMMvRYEzwuHUz06zBucHGL/view?usp=sharing


Comment on Pricing

Price in the Australian site is expensive ...
because Amazon grabs a large commission !
I'll received almost nothing ... That is ok with me  :-)

In the "rest of the world" site, the price is not determined by me. And I'm sure I will also receive next to nothing when the books are sold  :-)


Comment on Baal Bone area

Baal Bone area is east of the village of Ben Bullen and about 30 km north of Lithgow as the crow flies.

It straddles Gardens of Stone National Park in the north, and Ben Bullen State Forest in the south.

Prominent features of the area:
    Pagoda-like sandstone rock formations
    Cliffs
    Canyons
    Limestone outcrops
    Elevated swamps

Car access:
    Suitable for high clearance 4WDs only.
    From south: The Bicentennial National Trail / Long Swamp Trail
    From west: Moffitt Trail

Walking tracks:
    Practically none.
    Suitable for experienced and well-prepared off-track bushwalkers only.

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Strugle with B&W TV

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Kids of today don't know what struggle is ...

During our times, we have watched England vs Nigeria matches on B&W TV ...

If you increase brightness, England team disappeared.
Reduce brightness, Nigeria team disappeared.
If the wind blew a bit to sway the antenna, both teams disappeared.

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Pickpocket rehabilitation

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Pickpocket rehabilitation at nude beach

Pickpocket: Pfft ! ... Damn !  Everyone here is nude !
Nudist 1:     Ah !  A new member ... Welcome to our club, my friend !
Nudist 1 again: You don't seem very happy. Is something wrong ?
Pickpocket: Well, forget about that !  Why are all of you here ?
Nudist 1:     I'm a banker. I work hard all year, so I'm here to relax.
Pickpocket to nudist 2: And you ?
Nudist 2:     I'm a lawyer ... I love nudism !  I've been coming here for 10 years !
Nudist 3:     I'm a computer programmer ... Here everyone is nude and are all the same, it's nice !
Nudist 1:     And you, Sir ?
Pickpocket: I'm a pickpocket.
Nudist 1:     Huh ?
Pickpocket: My doctor sent me here for rehabilitation !

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Nut at the wheel

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A car's weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.

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Calories burnt during sex among different races

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Japanese:  We burn almost 300 calories during intercourse.
European:  We burn almost 500 calories.
African:      Ya man, we hit harder and we burn 1000 calories during each sexual encounter.
Indian:        Bro, our 2000 calories are spent only in persuading the wife for sex.   :-)

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Papers and Scissors rematch with traffic police

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The police just pulled me over and said, "Papers ?"
I said, "Scissors, I win !" and drove off.

I think he wants a rematch.
He's been chasing me for 30 minutes !

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No partner for golf

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Wife:         I noticed you haven't been playing golf lately.
Husband:  I don't have anyone to play with.
Wife:         What about Clyde ?
Husband:  Would you play with someone who cheats on the score and moves the ball when you're not looking ?
Wife:         I guess not.
Husband:  Well, neither will Clyde.

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Chiselling a tombstone

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Late one night, Jack takes a shortcut through the cemetery.

Hearing a tapping sound, he becomes scarred and quickens his pace.
The tapping gets louder and Jack is now scared out of his wits.

Then he notices a man chiselling a tombstone.

"Thank goodness !" Jack says to the man. "You gave me a fright of my life. Why are you working so late ?"

"They spelt my name wrong."

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Homer over-slept

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Homer Simpson:  I love these lazy Saturdays.
Marge:  It's Wednesday, Homer.

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Earthlings are advanced

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1st Alien:  They have nuclear weapons.  I didn't realise they were advanced.
2nd Alien:  No.  They've got them pointing at themselves !

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Shut up

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I like the sound some people make when they shut up.

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Your wife is behind you

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In a dinner setting :

Guy:  Say something that will make my heart pound, baby.
Woman:  Your wife is behind you.

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Vaccine is still being tested on humans

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A wise father ape  :-)

Son:  Dad, when we will be vaccinated ?
Dad:  Be patient my child, the vaccine is still being tested on humans.  Stay safe always.

Background:

Various vaccines have been developed to protect against Coronavirus (2019 to 2021 at the time of writing).

Some are more effective that others.
Some have more nasty side effects than other.

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Humans elect dumbest leaders

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A reference to the worst elected presidents in nations around the world :
      - Donald Trump of United States
      - Jair Bolsonaro of Brazil

One stockman to another :
"All I'm saying is that the difference between humans and animals is that animals would never allow the dumbest of the herd to lead them."

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Burglar having a hard time during Australia Coronavirus lockdown

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Australian Government Centrelink
Unemployment Benefits Application

Occupation :  Burglar
Reason for unemployment :  Everyone is home  (due to Coronavirus lockdown)

Background:

Centrelink is an Australian Government services program. One of its major services is the disbursement of social security payments.

Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), also known as 2019-nCoV acute respiratory disease (2019-nCoV ARD), is a viral respiratory disease caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). It is the disease implicated in the 2019-2021 coronavirus pandemic.

The disease was first identified in the city of Wuhan, capital of Hubei province in China, among patients who had developed pneumonia of no clear cause. Amid rapid spread of the disease, the World Health Organization has since declared the outbreak to be a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC). Infections have been reported throughout the world, mostly of travelers originating from Mainland China, with local transmission also reported in many countries.

In 2021 July, the Delta Variant of the Coronavirus went rampant in Australia. The states of NSW, Vic, SA were locked down to slow the spread of the virus.

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Husband chopping a tree branch up on a ladder

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(Husband to wife while chopping a tree branch up on a ladder)

Husband:
Before you start talking, woman, remember, when I need your opinion I ask !

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Wife is driving

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Husband to traffic cop :
She's doing all the driving.  I'm just the one behind the wheel !

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Gardening naked

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Did you know that if you garden naked, your neighbours will build a privacy fence at no cost to you ?

Really ?
I would have thought your neighbours would tear down the fence to get a good view of you !!!

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Dad is my ATM

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Dad, you will always be my SUPERHERO
Oops !   I mean my ATM

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House service

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In Thailand: House service by beautiful girl

Morning come, evening go :  300
Evening come, morning go :  3,000
Let me know     . . . . .     Anytime is ok !

Similarly in this country !

House service:  Day time rate - $300.  Night time rate - $3,000

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Needle in breast

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Sometimes you have to admit it's time to retire !!

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Children's test

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In a Children's test :

Write five words you can spell (5 marks) :
1  five
2  words
3  you
4  can
5  spell
                  Very clever !

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Identity theft

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Mother to twin:
"You're not a victim of identity theft. You're a twin."

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Crypsiphona ocultaria (Red-lined Looper Moth)

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A moth landed outside my kitchen window.

Moths are usually dull in colour.  And so this one is no exception.
(Colour is usually of no particular importance to moths as they are often nocturnal.)

It turns out to be a Crypsiphona ocultaria (Red-lined Looper Moth or Red-lined Geometer).

The "red-lined" part of the name refers to the red markings seen on the undersides of the wings.
(This time, looking outside from inside the kitchen)

As no one can see its beautiful colour except from under the body,
I wonder what evolutionary advantage do the markings convey to this moth ???


More on Crypsiphona ocultaria:
    - It is a common moth found all over Australia.
    - The larva is green and feeds on eucalypt leaves.
    - When threatened the grub stands still, pretending to be a stick.

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Dark matter is coffee

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The "dark matter" which holds the universe together has finally been identified as coffee.

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Do you have a dental appointment

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Husband:  Honey, Wanna fool around ?
Wife:  I can't. I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow. I want to stay fresh.
Husband:  (Thinks about it for a while.)
Husband:  Do you have a dental appointment tomorrow ?

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Topless chicks in short skirts

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Instead of all the negative postings,
here is a pic of some topless chicks in short skirts.

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Hikers climbing down pagodas

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The rocks here are called pagodas.

Location         :  East of Airly Turret, Mugii Murum-ban State Conservation Area, NSW, Australia
Date                :  2021 April 17
Photographer:  Me !   Me !   Me !
This photo has been circulating around the internet without giving credit to me, the photographer  :-(

More pictures of the trip to Airly Turret in Mugii Murum-ban SCA are in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A-3l2Eyx7COv7KhL8_-19Ew5reTRIg_z/view?usp=sharing

Post script:
Above photograph won 1st prize ...

... in Sydney's All Nations Bushwalking Club 2021 photo competition (People's Category) and walked away with $50  :-)

This is the 1st time I submitted a photograph to any competition.
From now on, I should do it more often  :-)

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Nutritious fact on water

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Nutritious Fact:

If you drink a gallon of water per day, you won't have time for other people's drama,
because you'll be too busy peeing.
Stay hydrated, my friends.

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Get your heart rate up

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"So my doctor says, Sid, you gotta get your heart rate up every day, so here I am."

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Orographic fog/cloud in the Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia

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Orographic fog/cloud ... More specifically, orographic waterfall cloud
because it looks like a waterfall

Location: Narrow Neck Plateau, Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia
Date: 2021-02-28, around 10:15 am
Photographer: John Graham

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Love and arguing in the rain

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This is love - couple arguing in the rain

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Married mummy stole linen wrapping

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One treasure hunter to another after opening an sarcophagus:
"Well, they were obviously married."

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Standing in front of TV

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Wife: I'm sick and tired of your selfishness.
         It's all YOU, YOU, YOU.
         Never a thought for me and MY feelings or needs.
         Well ?  Don't just sit there ... Haven't you got anything to say ?
Husband: You're standing in front of the TV.

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Long-term life goal

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In a job interview:
    "What are your life goals ?"
    "A new boat."
    "I mean longer-term."
    "Two new boats."

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Take pill before you wake up

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Doctor to patient:
"Take one of these with water half-an-hour before you wake up every morning."

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Stress ball

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Wait !
You mean to tell me that a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress me out ?
... Aunty Acid

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