Wife has two faults

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One woman chatting to another:

My husband was telling me, I have two faults:
I don't listen,
and some other shit he was rambling on about.


(It was a wonder she heard her first fault !)

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Husband's earrings aren't real gold

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Woman consulting to doctor:
I have two green marks
on the inside of my thighs,
doctor.

Doctor:
Does you husband have pierced ears ?

Woman:
Yes.  Why ?

Doctor:
Tell him, his earrings aren't real gold.


(If the doctor is any good,
he should place his hands
on the inside of her thighs to feel the marks
😊)

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Santa came twice

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I'm so good, Santa came twice.!

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Thief stole purse from woman

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(In a courtroom.)

Judge to woman:
You say the accused tried to steal the purse
you kept down the front of your blouse.
Why didn't you try to stop him ?

Woman:
Well sir, I didn't know it was my purse
he was after at the time !

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Police apprehended a thief.)

Police to woman:
When this man stole your purse
from your knickers, Madam,
didn't you feel him groping about ?
Why didn't you try to stop him ?

Woman:
Yes officer.
But I didn't think he was after my purse !

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If you see anything you fancy, just grab it

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While shopping in a supermarket ...

Wife to husband:
If you see anything you fancy, just grab it.

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Story of a statue on the fireplace of Snow Goose Hotel

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The funny story behind the statue
on the fireplace of the pub in:

Snow Goose Hotel
Adaminaby (2 Denison St), NSW, Australia


Scroll forward for the story ... after the pics below.

Photo by Fatimah Rashedi
Date: 2025 November

Note the long penis of the statue !!!


The strory goes that when settlers settled in
Adaminaby, they started an annual running race
in snow, because they had nothing else to offer
to attract tourists from Canberra.

The tradition was to run naked.

And the winner was the one whose private part
crossed the line ahead of everyone else's 🙂

Hence that statute of the naked man
running with his long private part 🙂


The story remind me of this funny picture,
a woman with big boobs in a race:
https://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/2025/03/big-boobs-should-be-handicapped.html

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Doctor's advice on sleep-talking

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Wife seeking advice from doctor ...

Woman consulting to doctor:
Doctor, my husband talks in his sleep at night.

Doctor:
Give him the opportunity to speak during the day.

Comments:

1.
Keep on speaking.
He will be silent also at night.

2.
My wife said I havent spoken to her in 3 weeks.
I said I don't like to interrupt her.

3.
The Japanaese have invented a camera
with a shutter lens so fast
it can actually capture the image of a woman
with her mouth closed.

Only joking ...
No camera could have a shutter speed that fast !!!

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Tessellated rocks - Kiama coast

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Date: 2025-Nov
Location: Kiama coast, NSW, Australia

Interesting tessellated pattens on the rocks !

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Survey on sexual intercourse

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(Woman doing a survey)

Woman:
Excuse me sir, we're doing a survey.
Tell me, do you talk to your wife
during sexual intercourse ?

Guy:
Actually, I do try to dear ...
If there's a phone handy !

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Put on bikini for neighbour to mow lawn

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Young lady relaxing in her own back garden ...


Old woman from next door said to her:

Can I get you to put on a bikini ?
I'm trying to get my hubby to mow the lawn.

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Women have better short-term memory

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Husband to wife:
This article says that
women have a better short-term memory
than men.

Wife:
I know.
Dear.
You read that to me ten minutes ago.

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Too late !

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In a hospital ...
Women's ward ...

One woman to another:
I didn't see him coming till it was too late !

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Influencing jury in a trial

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In a trial ...
Woman lifts up her skirt 😊


Judge to woman:

Remember,
Miss Susan,
You mustn't try to influence the jury.
So be careful what you say.

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When I die ...

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Husband to wife:
    When I die, I'm going to leave everything to you.

Wife (not happy):
    You already do.
    You lazy bastard !

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I'll have these two ripe ones

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Customer to nubile fruit salesgirl:
I'll have these two ripe ones, love !

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Both lumps are very tender

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Nubile meat salesgirl to customer:
Look, both lumps are very tender, Sir !

(Hey lady,
No need to tell him to look 😊
He is already looking intently ! 😊)

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Conversation about sleeping with husband

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Woman 1:  I sleep with my husband 3 time a week.
Woman 2:  I only do so once a week.
Woman 1:  But you don't have a husband !

Woman 2:
    Oh,
    I thought we were talking about your husband.

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Cave man drew a perfect woman

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Cave man 1:  What are you drawing ?
Cave man 2:  A perfect woman.
Cave man 1:  You missed the mouth.
Cave man 2:  I said perfect woman.

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Making mountains out of molehills

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(In a party)

Wife to husband:
    And what has she got that I haven't ?

Husband:
    Oh be reasonable Mabel.
    Don't try to make mountains out of molehills !

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Mother advises son's girlfriend

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Son to mum:  Mum, meet my girlfriend.
Mum:  You deserve better.  Don't settle for this.
Son  :  But mum, I love her !
Mum:  I'm talking to her.

Mother knows best !

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Wife with new sunglasses

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Just wanted to share a photo of my wife
with her new sunglasses.

Comment on the above image:

You must be upset by the woman in front
blocking half your wife from the photo.

In any case,
you need a new camera for a better focus ...
because I'm excited by the guy in blue shirt
behind your wife.

Do you have his phone number ?

------------------------------------------------------

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View in a bus

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Kid to dad  in a bus:

Dad,
Shall we sit upstairs where we can see more ?

Hey kid,
You can see heaps from where you are now 😊

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Fish bite twice a day

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(In a boat)
Homer Simpson to Bart:

Fish bite twice a day ...

Before I get to the lake
And after I leave !

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This is your life !

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Presenter announces:
Blimey !

If you have any children in the house,
switch your darn set off !


(A Bamforth card ... on THIS IS YOUR LIFE)

"This Is Your Life" was a
television documentary and reality series/show.

In the program, the presenter surprised
celebrity guests with a show documenting
their lives ...

in front of an audience, including participation
from colleagues, friends, and family.

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What archaeologist will find in 100 years

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In 100 years, archaeologist will find
    -  Silicone breast implants
    -  Sexy lip fillers
in female skeletons.

But where are the fake eye lashes ?

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Boat ran out of petrol

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Guy to girl ... on a date, in a boat:

The last time I ran out of petrol,
you walked home alone.
Can you swim ?

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Kevin Zeng (WenBin) angered Maggie Qiu and me

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At a glance

- Kevin Zeng (WenBin) orgainzed a bushwalk.
- Maggie Qiu and I were in his bushwalk.
- Kavin cancelled his trip due to rain.
- Then created a Plan B trip.
- Excluded Maggie Qiu and me from his Plan B !!!



Below are the details.



1)  Sunday ... 2025-August-03

Kevin organized a bushwalk, on a Sunday,
to Kingpin Mountain, Morton NP, NSW.

I never knew how to join Kevin's bushwalks.
But he invited me ...

Actually, Kevin never messaged me.
Grace Fang invited me.
Grace was Kevin's helper.

The below rants by me hold true,
regardless whether Grace invited me
with or without Kevin's blessing ...

because Kevin was the leader.
He was responsible for this trip.



2)  Saturday ... late afternoon

The day before ...
Late Saturday afternoon,
Kevin cancelled his trip due to rain.

Then, he organized a Plan B bushwalk
for Sunday,
to a sunny place.

He excluded Maggie and me !!!



3)

Now, every weekend,
I always arrange my own bushwalks.

Maggie is also very active.
She plays badminton etc.

But on that Sunday, both
Maggie and I were stranded at home
with nowhere to go !!!

So outrageous !!!

If Kevin had not invited me to his trip,
I would have arranged my own trip,
and I would not have been stranded at home.

Ditto for Maggie.



4)

No apologies from Kevin.

He insisted he did nothing wrong.



5)

Maggie was so angered by Kevin's action,

she quit his WeChat hiking group soon afterwards.



6)

Kevin gave many bullshit excuses
for not inviting me.

When a person gave so many excuses,
you don't need to know what he said.
You know automatically he was bullshitting.

Kevin didn't say  sorry  nor  apologise.
He insisted he did nothing wrong.



7)  Bullshit excuse #1

Kevin said:
- Original trip was cancelled.
- New trip was a new trip, not Plan B.
- Hence he did not invite me.

This is bullshit.

He invited almost everyone
from his original trip
to his Plan B trip.

He called his Plan B trip "new trip".
He played games with names !

Who cared about the name of his Plan B trip !!! ???

Why was Maggie & I excluded ???
whereas almost everyone
from his original trip was included !!!



8)  Bullshit excuse #2

Kevin said:
- He didn't have time to invite Maggie & me.

This is bullshit.

He had time to invite almost everyone
from his original trip.

Why was there no time to invite Maggie & me ???

He was the leader.
He had responsibilities.

If he had to sleep one hour less
to include Maggie & me,
so be it !!!



9)  Bullshit excuse #3

Kevin said:
- He didn't invite me because it was late at night.
- And I might have gone to sleep.

This is bullshit.

Others might have gone to sleep too.
But he messaged them,
except to Maggie & me.

It is true that I often go to bed early.
But everyone knew I would have risen early too.

Kevin knew I would read his message
one way or another...
and be ready for his trip.


(Actually,
he didn't sent out his invitation message
to others very late at night.

I would have time to read his message
before I went to sleep ...
if he had sent it to me.)



10)  Bullshit excuse #4

Kevin said:
- There might be a bit of rain in his Plan B place.
- Hence I would not join his Plan B.

This is bullshit ... a.

I was all prepared to go to his original place
even though it would rain heavily there.

So, why was I worried about a bit of rain
in his Plan B place ?

* * * * * * * * * *

And bullshit ... b.

The Plan B place was actually sunny !!!
That was the reason Kevin chose this place.

The plan B place was in a rain shadow ...

Meaning:
If weather forecast is for a bit of rain there,
it usually means no rain there.

All bushwalkers know
the place is in a rain shadow.

All Kevin had to do, was to tell me his Plan B place.

Everyone knows:
I am not a dumb bushwalker.

Everyone knows:
I know how to read weather forecasts.

I can decide for myself
whether the Plan B place will be dry & sunny.



11)  Bullshit excuse #5

Kevin said:
- I usually didn't join his trips.
- Hence he dropped me.

Another bullshit excuse !

Regardless of past history,
I was invited to his original trip.
He had responsibilities for me.

He could not leave me stranded at home
without including me in his Plan B trip.



12)  Bullshit excuse #6

When all of his bullshit excuses failed ...

Kevin blamed me
for not suggesting a plan B to the group.

So disgusting !!!

I was not the leader.
He was the leader !!!

Why didn't he admit he was wrong ???
instead of blaming me for not suggesting a plan B.



13)

Kevin never messaged me.
All the above were from Grace on his behalf.
(Grace was Kevin's helper.)

It is possible ...
Kevin knew none of the above bullshits.

But he was the leader !!!

It is up to him to apologise to me:
- To say ... he was innocent,
- To say ... all the above were written by Grace
                  without his knowledge.

But I believe:
- Kevin himself said he did nothing wrong.
- Kevin himself gave the above bullshit excuses.

He should apologise
    - to me
    - to Maggie
    - and in public

    - to say he was wrong
    - to say he is sorry for what he did !!!

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Tugging at car's handbrake

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Woman learner driver to car instructor:

I don't think I've got the hang of this handbrake.
I keep tugging at it, but it won't go down !

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Burger King sign at night

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What a beautiful moon.

Let me put on my glasses
to appreciate this beauty.

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Stiff one first ?

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Woman to guy:
    I had like a drink.
    And I want a stiff one.

Guy:
    Ok, love.
    But do you want the stiff one first ?

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Grown up

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I finally know why they call me a grown up.
I groan every time I get up.

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Let's go dutch

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Girl to an older man:
    Let's go dutch this evening.
    You pay for supper and drinks.
    Then the rest of your night will be on me.

(She means ... in me.
And also  over me,  under me,  behind me 😊)

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New Zealand Ocean

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Map  of  New Zealand Ocean

A response to the 2025 naming controversy
arising from the mad U.S. president
    Donald Trump
signing an executive order to rename
the Gulf of Mexico to "Gulf of America"
in all U.S. federal documents

By the way, the map below is not correct:
    - Australia should be named West Island.
    - South America should be named East Island.

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Having another drink

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Guy:
If I have another drink, I shall feel it in the morning.

Woman:
If I have another drink, you can feel it tonight !

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Today's pupil

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Pupil to teacher in front of a classroom :

I don't want to scare you.
But pop says if I don't get better report cards,
Someone is going to get a good spanking !

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Pregnant woman bursts into a dentist's surgery

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Pregnant woman bursts into a dentist's surgery

Remember me ?
I came in 6 months ago to have a cavity filled !

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Pink Caves, Central Coast, NSW, Australia

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A group of us went to
    Pink Caves, Central Coast, NSW, Australia
in 2025-April:

Paul,  leading ...
    - Ai Ling Lim
    - Amy Chi
    - John Graham
    - Karen Lee
    - Lyndal Tegel
    - May Yang

Detailed trip report is in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2025/04/pink-caves-to-caves-beach-part-1.html

Below are the pictures only.


Pink Caves entrance

1a, b)  Pink Caves entrance.
- Amy takes the honour for the 1st person
  to get there.

Inside Pink Caves

2a, b)  Wonderful pink-coloured rocks in the cave !
- 2 white arrows: Same as the 2 white arrows in photo #3

Photos by John

3)  Inside Pink Caves.
- 2 white arrows: Same as the 2 white arrows in photo #2

4)  Left to right: John, Amy
- Red arrow:
       • It is the top white arrow in photo #3.
       • Also, Amy will be standing over it
         in photo #5.

5)  The pool here is the red arrow of previous pic.
- Lyndal, Amy, John

6)  Lyndal, Amy, John.
- The pool in the front is the one
  in the previous pic.

7)  Amy ... on the pink rock.

8)  May on the pink rock.
- In the background, left to right:
       Karen, Lyndal, Amy

9)  Lyndal, John.

10)  Nice colour !

To the back of Pink Caves

11a, b)  Walking towards the back of Pink Caves.
- Upper pic: Ai Ling, Lyndal, John, Amy
- Lower pic: Lyndal, John, Amy

Upper pic: Photo by May

Back of Pink Caves

12)  Back of Pink Caves.
- Karen, Lyndal, Paul

Photo by Ai Ling

13)  John, May, Karen, Ai Ling, Lyndal, Paul.

Photo by Amy

The other side of Pink Caves

14)  Looking across the channel
       at the other side of the cave.

Photo by John

15)  Looking across the channel
       at the other side of the cave.
- John, Lyndal, May

16)  Lyndal, John, Karen.

Photo by May

17)  May, Karen.

Looking out from the cave

18)  Fantastic colour !
- May

Photo by Karen

Warning / Danger

You should only visit the Pink Caves
during low tide and low swell.

It is suicidal to go at other times.
Peolple have died there !!!



Detailed trip report

Detailed trip report is in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2025/04/pink-caves-to-caves-beach-part-1.html

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