Penis enlarger

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Scientist to himself after enlarging a tomato:
    "It works !
    With this technology, we could end world hunger !
    But first ..."

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Old woman needs glasses to watch news

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Old woman:

"If we're gonna watch the news,
I'll need my glasses ..."
     [ Fetching 2 glasses of wine ]

"That's better."

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Chess - Rook under promotion

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Black to move.
White wins.  How?  Solution is in the comment section.

By the way, all my posts on chess can be found in this link ==>
http://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/search/label/Chess%20puzzle

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Face of girl or old woman?

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What do you see? The face of a girl or an old woman?

The transformation between a girl and an old woman:
- The girl's ear is the old woman's eye.
- The girl's neckline is the old woman's mouth.

Another similar picture:

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Perfect eyesight

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Wife: "I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell. How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits?"
Husband: "Your eyesight is perfect."

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Man pee sitting down

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Notice on toilet wall
     Men:
     Pee sitting down

Man talking to himself: "Women and their stupid rules..."

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Optical illusion - man / woman's face

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Optical illusion
You can see a man face; you can also see a woman's face   :-)

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Helmet or Hermit

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1)  At Bizhao Cliff 避诏崖, HuaShan 华山, China Shaanxi Province 陕西省 - 2018 September
- Red oval: Information board ... see photo #2

2)  Information board (red oval of the previous photo)
- Red rectangle: See photo #3

3)  Information board (red rectangle of previous photo)

Bizhao Cliff is located at the northwest of South Heavenly Gate of HuaShan Mountain.

The rock cavern at the cliffside is said to be the place where Chen Tuan, a helmet early in Song Dynasty, retreated to avoid the imperial edict. Chen was familiar with the doctrines of various schools and astronomy and geography. Song Tai-Tsu and Song TaiZong had issued an imperial edict many times to invite him to the Capital to serve the Imperial Court, which he had politely refused.

The three characters "Bi Zhao Yan 避诏崖" (literally means imperial edict avoiding rock) on the cavern front are said to be inscribed by Chen Tuan himself.

A helmet?  Really?   :-)

More on Bizhao Cliff 避诏崖 is in my blog on climbing HuaShan 华山 ... click on this link:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2018/09/huashan-china-shaanxi.html

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Rock climbing

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Teamwork in rock climbing :
Hang on to your buddy's pants  :-)

Location: Hong Kong

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Parenting & Childing

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Sure, sometimes I question my parenting.
But to be fair, sometimes I also question my kids' childing.

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A good trade !

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1st woman: "I got this horse for my husband."
2nd woman: "Sounds like a good trade to me."

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Moses with a tablet

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Technically, Moses was the first person with a tablet downloading data from the cloud.

And due to the first commandment, Moses became the first person to have a tablet with fake news.

The first commandment is:
"I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
Exodus 20:2-3

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Chess puzzle - Symmetry 1

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I love chess puzzles with some kind of symmetrical position. If you know of other such positions, please let me know.

White to move, mate in 2.  Solution is in the comment section.

By the way, all my posts on chess can be found in this link ==>
http://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/search/label/Chess%20puzzle

My posts on chess puzzles with some kind of symmetry can be found in this link ==>
http://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/search/label/Symmetry%20%28Chess%29

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Balanced diet

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Woman on sofa: "It's important to have a balanced diet."
     Milk chocolates   -   Dark chocolates
     White wine          -   Red wine

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Land speed

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What is your fastest land speed record ?

Mine is 431 km/hr on a Maglev Train in China
    from Longyang Road Station
    to Shanghai Pudong International Airport
2018 October.

What is the experience like riding the train ?

It is relatively quiet and stable, but not as quiet and stable as I had imagined. Well, if you sip from a cup of coffee, the coffee may get spilled on your clothes  :-)

Nonetheless, I am impressed by the speed, especially when 2 Maglev Trains pass each other. The relative speed is then 431 kph + 431 kph = 862 kph. At that speed, in less than the blink of an eye, before the whoosh sound made by the trains passing each other has registered in your brain, the other train is gone !  Well, I had never experienced anything passing so fast close by !


More on the Maglev Train

As at the time of writing, this is the only commercially operated magnetic levitation train in the world; and also the fastest commercially operated train in the world.

From Wikipedia: The line's balance of payments has been in huge deficit since its opening.

From 2004 to 2006, Shanghai Maglev Transportation Development Co. Ltd, the company which runs the line, had more than one billion RMB in losses. The line's lack of profitability derives from its construction for political reasons as a test project for the future of China's rail infrastructure, rather than as a viable market solution for the needs of travelers.

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Soup of the day

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Soup of the day
Cold beer

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Happy Birthday

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Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Hippo Birdie Deer Ewe
Hip-po Bir-die Two Ewe !

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Church Notice

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Church notice:
Please do not leave your purse, watch, handbag, mobile phone, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend unattended.
Others may think it's an answer to their prayers.

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Banksia bird

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Banksia bird ... so lifelike and cute  :-)
(Old Man Banksia, Banksia serrata)

Location: Natural trail near Wentworth Falls, Blue Mts, NSW, Australia

Photographer: Freda   2018 August 24

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Hebrews

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All men should make coffee for their women.
It says it right in the Bible ...
"Hebrews"

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Strap phone to girl's forehead

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Girlfriend to boyfriend:
"Do you mind if I strap your phone to my forehead so I can pretend you're looking at me when I talk?

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Calculated risk

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The risk I took was calculated.
But man, am I bad at math !

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Rectangular block tree

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Have you ever seen a Tree Fern with a rectangular block trunk ?

Location:  Acoustic Chamber
Sunnyside Canyon
Gardens of Stone NP
NSW, Australia

Date:  2018 July

Above picture is photo #43 in this bushwalking trip report to Sunnyside Canyon :
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2020/12/sunnyside-canyon-to-cleft-point-gardens.html

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Good Morning

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I always say "Morning" instead of "Good Morning".
Because if it were a Good Morning, I'd still be in bed asleep.

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Crazy road in Tasmania

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Jacobs Ladder, Ben Lomond National Park, Tasmania, Australia

Jacobs Ladder is the name of an unsealed narrow sharp winding and precipitous ascent to Ben Lomand plateau in a zigzag part of Ben Lomond Road.

This pic was taken from Watchtower Lookout at the top of the Ladder, 2017 January.

From bottom of Jacobs Ladder, looking up at the road zigzaging its way to Watchtower Lookout ~~~
This pic doesn't show it ... It is a crazy steep road ... If you are afraid of height and exposure, you won't be able to drive through it !

More photographs of Jacobs Ladder are in my blogs when I climbed Legges Tor, 2nd highest mountain in Tasmania.
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2017/01/legges-tor-giblin-peak-jacobs-ladder.html  Photos #67 to #78
http://mntviews.blogspot.com/2014/11/legges-tor-tas-australia.html  Photos #4 to #7

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Oyster is robbed

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Female psychiatrist: "For therapy to work, you need to open up to me."
Oyster: "I just have a hard time trusting people."
Female psychiatrist: "Got it !  Ha Ha !"

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Picture of a perfect man

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Picture of a perfect man :

No image available

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Giant Sequoia log

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Giant Sequoia

Giant Sequoias (Sequoiadendron giganteum) are the world's largest trees; and largest living thing by volume. The trees grow to an average height of 50–85 meters and 6–8 meters in diameter. Record trees have been measured at 94.8 meters in height.

They are also among the oldest living things on Earth. The oldest known Giant Sequoia based on ring count is 3,500 years old. Sequoia bark is fibrous, furrowed, and may be 90 cm thick at the base of the columnar trunk. It provides significant fire and insect protection for the trees.

Here are two examples to show the large size of the tree ... both are at the same location and date.
Location: Crescent Meadow Road, Sequoia National Park, California, USA
                 near Giant Forest Museum
Date: 2018 May


1)  Tunnel Log

Visitors to Sequoia National Park can drive through a fallen "Tunnel Log" located along Crescent Meadow Road near Giant Forest Museum of the park.

The fallen log came into being after a Giant Sequoia fell across the road as a result of natural causes on December 4, 1937. The following summer, a tunnel was cut through the log as a visitor attraction.

When it fell, the tree stood at 83.8 meters feet high and 6.4 meters in diameter at the base. Its age when it fell has not been determined, but probably exceeded 2,000 years.

The tunnel, which remains in use today, is 5.2 meters wide by 2.4 meters high.

In the 3 pics below, I am driving a hired Toyota Camry through the log.

2)  Auto Log

The Auto Log was once another Giant Sequoia. It fell down in 1917. Because it landed right next to Crescent Meadow Road in Sequoia National Park, park authorities decided to turn it into a visitor attraction. A kind of parking space was gouged along the upturned side of the tree trunk, and visitors were encouraged to drive their cars off the road and onto the trunk as a way to convey the size of the big Giant Sequoia.

Nearly a century of rot, and countless thousands of cars, have been too much even for a Giant Sequoia, and the battered trunk is now off-limits to vehicles. But visitors can still walk the length of the former log roadway.

Base diameter: 6.4 meters (21 feet)

Etti is starring in the 2 pics below ...

... Whilst I climbed to the top of the tree root.

More on the Giant Sequoia

In volume of total wood, the Giant Sequoia is Earth's largest living tree. Its nearly conical trunk, which remains thick high into the branches, is the reason.

- At least one tree species lives longer.
- One has a greater diameter.
- Three grow taller.
But none is larger.

In all the world, sequoias grow naturally only on the west slope of the Sierra Nevada, California, USA, usually between 5,000 feet and 7,000 feet of elevation. There are about 75 groves in all.

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Cairns, Cairns and more Cairns

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World's largest collection of cairns may well be here.

The cairns seem to be newly created.
Older photographs simply show an empty dirt ground.

The cairns from another angle

A sample of the gravity-defying cairns

Location:
Kings Canyon Overlook, Generals Hwy (Hwy 198)
Sequoia Nat Pk, California, USA

Near Buena Vista Peak Trailhead
N 36° 43.165   W 118° 53.824

Date: 2018 May

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Don't drink this water

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Sign on toilet wall:
      Caution
      Reclaimed wastewater
      Do not drink

No idea why such a sign is necessary. Perhaps it implies that in other toilets where reclaimed water is not used, then one can drink it from the bowl ???

Location:
Toilet in Bright Angel Lodge,
Grand Canyon Village (South Rim),
Arizona, USA

Date:  2018 June

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Be positive

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One woman to another:
"Tragic really, he died because no one knew his blood type.
I'll never forget the last words he whispered to me ...
... Be Positive !"

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The Panda

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There is a panda amongst the snowmen. Can you find it?

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Men who never listen

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Men who never listen

Actually men also don't see things.
Are you on the list ?
I'm glad my name Paul is not on the list.

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Einstein's E = mc2

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E = mc2
Energy = Milk  x  Coffee2

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Snake - a very special moment during a bushwalk

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Species: Highland Copperhead (Austrelaps ramsayi)
Location: Close to the summit of Mt Scabby, ACT, Australia
Date: 2018 January

Usually snakes would move out of the way when they heard people approaching.
Not this one !  This one was not afraid of us, not budging from its ground.
Glad we saw it first and didn't step on it !
It also liked to flick its tongue in and out.

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