Influencing jury in a trial

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In a trial ...
Woman lifts up her skirt 😊


Judge to woman:

Remember,
Miss Susan,
You mustn't try to influence the jury.
So be careful what you say.

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When I die ...

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Husband to wife:
    When I die, I'm going to leave everything to you.

Wife (not happy):
    You already do.
    You lazy bastard !

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I'll have these two ripe ones

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Customer to nubile fruit salesgirl:
I'll have these two ripe ones, love !

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Both lumps are very tender

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Nubile meat salesgirl to customer:
Look, both lumps are very tender, Sir !

(Hey lady,
No need to tell him to look 😊
He is already looking intently ! 😊)

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Conversation about sleeping with husband

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Woman 1:  I sleep with my husband 3 time a week.
Woman 2:  I only do so once a week.
Woman 1:  But you don't have a husband !

Woman 2:
    Oh,
    I thought we were talking about your husband.

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