In a museum

Even a mummy's penis is aroused.

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One glass a day

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I limit myself to one glass of wine a day.

My doctor said 'Only 1 glass of alcohol a day.'

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Newton's 3rd law of emotion

Newton's Third Law of Emotion:
   For every male action,
   There is a female over reaction.

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Sit on a problem

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I'm not sure if I want to marry you, Jack!  I'll sit on it for a while.

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Sick wife makes husband's breakfast

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(This is for all you women who think all men are heartless ... Sort of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?)

My wife is so sick this morning ... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.

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If science teachers look after swings ...

Why science teachers are not asked to monitor recess.

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