How not to lose your keys

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If you don't want to lose the keys of your padlock ...

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Judy Garland and Scarecrow

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Judy Garland:
How can you talk if you haven't a brain ?

Scarecrow:
Oh some people without brains
do an awful lot of talking.

It is because some people have a hole
in the back of their heads
and the wind blows their tongues around !

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Anger Management is too expensive

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Coffee: Because anger management is too expensive.

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Glasses not seeing things wife's way

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Wife to optometrist:
"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband.
He's still not seeing things my way."

The husband needs rose-tinted glasses  :-)

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Beautiful Walpa Gorge, Kata Tjuta, NT, Australia

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Walpa Gorge is a gorge between two of the highest domes in Kata Tjuta (The Olgas), Northern Territory, Australia.

Here is a rare, but most stunning scenery of water pouring down the cliff faces of the gorge:
The photograph was taken in 2013-05 in pouring rain. The rain ruined my camera ... but to be able to witness such a scene is well worth it.

Photograph courtesy of Ricky who was mad enough to be with me in that trip.

As of today, I can't find any picture posted by others on the internet of the gorge in the rain.

By contrast, here is a photograph of the same gorge taken by me 14 months later in 2014-07 in a sunny afternoon. Still a sight to behold, but I prefer the beauty of the previous pic.
( More photos and trip report on Walpa Gorge are in my blog:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2014/07/walpa-gorge-kata-tjuta-nt-australia.html )

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My abode in the woods

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Some people want a big house, a fast car, and lots of money.
Others just want a tiny cabin in the woods away from those kinds of people.

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Caterpillar tree ferns - Dicksonia antarctica

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The 2 photographs here are Soft Tree Ferns, Dicksonia antarctica. They have fallen or bent into an arch. On reaching the ground, the stems turn vertical and continue to grow and hence having the appearance of giant caterpillars crawling on the forest floor.

Although Dicksonia antarctica is a common species in Australia, seeing them in a caterpillar state is quite rare.

But in Dicksonia Forest Ravine, there is a forest of Dicksonia antarcticas, and many of them are in this caterpillar state. More photosgraphs of these caterpillars, and a trip report to the ravine are in my blog:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2016/10/dicksonia-forest-ravine-nsw-blue-mts.html

By the way, the ravine is like an enchanted world, like a mythical fairy land. You should visit it if you have a chance.

(Dicksonia Forest Ravine is in the north-western corner of Blue Mountains National Park, NSW, Australia. Click on the above blog link for the precise location.)

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Teacher's positive comment

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Teacher to parents: "It's not that your son is bad, he just exceeds standards for mischief."

This teacher has a positive attitude !

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Teacher bullied by kids at school

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"I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school ... you're the teacher."

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Black and white cat not wearing matching socks

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Life's too short to worry about matching socks

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How to count 97 in French

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I was interested in learning French
after seeing this joke:

3 dogs are competing in a swimming race.

They are:
An English dog named "one two three".
A German dog named "eins zwei drei".
And a French dog named "un deux trois".

The dogs all swim across a lake.

The English dog finishes first.
The German dog finishes second.
But the French dog is nowhere to be found.

Why?
Because un deux trois quartre cinq 😊

But it wasn't a joke
when I learned that to count to 97,
you say 4 * 20 + 10 + 7.

I had a 6ure
and 5 to my knees
and pray God to 7 the French language on fire ...

I had e9.

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Gay test

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Gay test:

If you see two people dancing,
I've got bad news for you !

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Dog wants 2 cookies

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Him?  No, he doesn't want a cookie.
He says I can have two.

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Language evolution

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4000 year & we are back to same language  :-)
2006 BC  vs  2016 AD

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Forecast outside a pub

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Tonight's Forecast ...
99% chance of gin

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Fonts Matter

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Fonts matter
You'll always be mine ...

Photography
Capturing life's moments one click at a time

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Fire Rainboow in Singapore

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A fire rainbow is a rare phenomenon ... formed when sunlight refracts through ice-crystal clouds.

Here are the photos of a fire rainbow over Singapore in 2017-02-20, around 5:10pm-ish and lasted about 15 minutes. Wish I was there to witness it !

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Happy Valentine's Day ... bring your girlfriend !

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Happy Valentine's Day !
Bring ur GF: 20% off
Bring ur Wife: 40% off
Bring both at the same time: FREE
Free transportation to the hospital

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Hip replacement from a zebra

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One horse to another:

"I can' say I'm entirely pleased
with my hip replacement."

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Verterinarian

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Veterinarian
Because I can cure crazy animals but can't fix stupid people

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Government helps & steals

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I'm from the government, I'm here to help.

By the way, the following statements are often attributed to Roman politician and orator Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 BC-43 BC), who once served as Consul of the Roman Republic:
     1.  The poor, work & work.
     2.  The rich, exploit the poor.
     3.  The soldier, protects both.
     4.  The taxpayer, pays for all the three.
     5.  The wanderer, rests for all the four.
     6.  The drunk, drinks for all the five.
     7.  The banker, robs all the six.
     8.  The lawyer, misleads all the seven.
     9.  The doctor, kills all the eight.
    10. The undertaker, buries all the nine.
    11. The politician lives happily on account of all the ten.

However there is no known source for these apocryphal sayings (or anything remotely resembling it) in Cicero's recorded letters, speeches, and works. Moreover, there is no record of them having been attributed to him (or anyone else) prior to 2012, when they were posted to an Occupy Wall Street-related forum. In other words, it is simply people attempting to demonstrate the aptness of a particular social or political viewpoint by putting these words into the mouth of a revered historical figure.

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Clouds hugging top of mountain range

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This photo is the Tinderry Mountain Range taken at 7:37pm, 2017 January 12, near the small town of Michelago, NSW, Australia ... specifically, on Monaro Highway, 1 km south of the turn off to Ryrie Street (into Michelago), and looking towards the east.

The white stuff covering the mountain range is not snow. They are clouds. But notice it is clear blue sky everywhere !

Is there a meteorologist, budding meteorologist, pretend meteorologist out there who can explain this phenomenon?  (I think it is called orographic cloud / fog.)

By the way, the Tinderry Mountains are interesting to climb. Photos and an account of the climb are in my blog:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2015/10/tinderry-twin-tinderry-peak-nsw.html

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Heart-shaped sweat

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You'll have to admire Alexa who has given her big heart to hiking  :-)
This photo was taken in May 2016 at Rigby Hill in the Blue Mountains Nat Pk, NSW, Australia.
Photos and trip report on the Rigby Hill climb are in my blog:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2016/05/rigby-hill-victoria-falls-nsw-blue-mts.html
See photo #52 in the blog.

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Smoking is good for environment because it kills humans

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House on tyres

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Is it a retyrement home ?
But really, those foundations need a freshen up, they look a bit tyred.
So I don't know how long the house would last. Hope it would last for a good year  :-)
Yet somehow this would probably be the one house to survive an earthquake.
And wonder whether they get changed to winter tyres when it starts snowing.

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Huntsman Spider with its egg sac

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I had a shock the other day when I opened a binder and found a Huntsman Spider with her egg sac. Considering the shaking to the binder when I took it down from the bookshelf and plonked it down on the desk, yet the spider was so hell-bent on protecting her egg sac that she wouldn't budge and run away. Amazing !

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Becoming an adult

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Becoming an adult
is probably the dumbest thing you could ever do !

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Cycling through autumn leaves

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Cycling through a street full of autumn leaves !
An ingenious Escheresque drawing !

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The senior citizen cheer !

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What do we want ?
Better memory !
When do we want it ?
Want what ?

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Minimal g-string bikini

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You wonder ...
What is the point of wearing these micro-kinis ?

Why don't these girls simply go nude !?!?!?

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2 spiders

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Please help me to identify the 2 spiders in this page:

1)  Found under a rock, on top of a pagoda-like rock formation on the plateau above Dicksonia Forest Ravine / Dingo Creek (at the 3-way corner of Blue Mountains National Park, Wollemi National Park, and Newnes State Forest), NSW, Australia ~~~~
Is it a Flat Rock Spider (scientific name: Hemicloea) ?

Above photograph is in my trip report to Dicksonia Forest Ravine (photo #38) ... click on this link:
http://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2016/10/dicksonia-forest-ravine-nsw-blue-mts.html


2)  A tiny spider found in Awabakal Nature Reserve, NSW, Australia. (The back ground is a hat.)
Is it Phonognatha graeffei ?

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Teaching the meaning of "Politics"

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The word "POLITICS" is derived from the word "poly" meaning "many" and the word "ticks" meaning "blood sucking parasites".

An oldie and still a goodie and still relevant !!!

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Content of women's magazines as a pie chart

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Content of women's magazines
as a pie chart

- You're beautiful just the way you are
- Ads about losing 20 pounds in 4 weeks

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Life is a vicious circle

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Life's an uphill climb ... that keeps getting steeper.
But if you stay determined & focused ... wait; what the fuck ?!

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