Newton's 4th law of motion

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Newton's lesser known 4th law of motion

A student in bed will remain in bed,
unless acted upon by a large enough panic.

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Scotty, don't beam me up yet

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Scotty, don't beam me up yet.
I'm taking a sh...

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Iridescent clouds

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Iridescent clouds

Location           : Top of Saddleback Mountain, Kiama, NSW, Australia
Date                  : 2022-05-07  11am
Photographers: 1st one - Lisa Li.  Rest - Paul.

An iridescent cloud is an uncommon phenomenon, the result of diffraction ... small droplets of water or small crystals of ice individually scattering light.

If the small droplets/crystals are of similar size, their cumulative effect is seen as iridescent colours. The cloud must be optically thin, so that most rays encounter only a single droplet. Iridescence is therefore mostly seen at cloud edges or in semi-transparent clouds.


Here is another iridescent cloud I photographed 7 years ago.
Location: Gungartan Mountain, Kosciuszko National Park, NSW, Australia
Date       : 2015-03-13

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Multitasking at my old age

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At my old age, I'm good at multitasking.
I can listen, ignore and forget all at once.

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2 hours to pass female cyclists

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Bloody women cyclists.
It took me 2 hours to get past them.

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After birth, how long does it take for the eyes to open ?

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After birth,
how long does it take for the eyes to open :
    -  Cows     : Immediately
    -  Goats    : After 2 hours
    -  Cats      : After 6 days
    -  Dogs     : After 10 days
    -  Humans: After Marriage !

😊 😊 😊 😊 😊

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Skimpy panty

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By the time I realized that it was a shopping bag,
I already missed the bus !

Here is another woman wearing a skimpy panty  :-)

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Sister is older

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Sometimes I feel old.
But then I realize my sister is older.

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Mathematical equations for breasts

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Simple curve

A simple mathematical equation
for a buxom lady's breasts:

y = (1 - (|x|-1)^2)^0.5
   which is equivalent to
y = Sqrt(2*|x| - x^2)

A plot of the real part of the breasts,
ignoring the imaginary part  :-)

Not good enough for you ?
Try the next one !



More realistic curve

y = Sqrt(1 - (|x|-1)^2) + Sqrt(0.01 - (x+1)^2) + Sqrt(0.01 - (x-1)^2)
   which is equivalent to
y = Sqrt(2*|x| - x^2) + Sqrt(0.01 - (x+1)^2) + Sqrt(0.01 - (x-1)^2)

A plot of the real part of the breasts,
again ignoring the imaginary part  :-)

More complicated equation

This one was taken from somewhere
on the internet few years ago.
Unfortunately, now I couldn't find the source
nor the author anymore  :-(

y =
   sqrt(1 - (x+3/2)^2 / (1+(x+3/2)^10)^(1/5))
+ sqrt(1 - (10x+15)^2 / (1+(10x+15)^10)^(1/5)) /10
+ sqrt(1 - (x-3/2)^2 / (1+(x-3/2)^10)^(1/5))
+ sqrt(1 - (10x-15)^2 / (1+(10x-15)^10)^(1/5)) /10

3D surface

A 3D surface for breasts:

z = 4*x*y - x^4 - y^4

Source:
https://www.chegg.com/homework-help/questions-and-answers/surface-z-4xy-x-4-y-4-graphed-two-absolute-maximums-find-values-maximums-q11144119



Other mathematical equations for:
Heart, Bum, Penis, Boomerang

They are covered in my blogs:
https://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/2014/08/mathematical-equation-of-love-heart.html
   and
https://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/2014/04/from-golden-ratio-to-golden-arse.html

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Teach a man how to fish

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Give a man a fish and he eats for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he can avoid the wife for a whole weekend !

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If people stand up ...

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If people stand up, the corrupt party is over !

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Fancy a quickie

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The dangers of predictive text  :-)

Quiche $6.95 each
"Fancy a quickie" ... as received by nun

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Super giant Jeremy

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Super giant Jeremy compared to Ruoran Zhou !

Date: 2015-October-25

Location:
    West Tinderry Firetrail
    Tinderry Nature Reserve
    NSW, Australia

We were on our way to climb Tinderry Twin Peak,
then to Tinderry Peak.

More photographs and trip report
from the bushwalk are in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2015/10/tinderry-twin-tinderry-peak-nsw.html


By the way,
if you know the whereabouts of Ruoran Zhou,
please contact me.
Or ask her to contact me.

My email address: mntviews@gmail.com

Thank you !


Background:

- Ruoran Zhou was born in China.
- Studied & worked in Denmark.
- Came to Sydney Australia in 2014 (or 2015) ???

- Hobby in Sydney: Bushwalking / climbing / hiking
  That's how I knew her.

- Left Australia in 2016.
  Perhaps around Oct/Nov/Dec ???
  To Denmark/China ???

- No one in Australia has heard from her since 😭


Some photographs of Ruoran Zhou are in this link:
https://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/2022/03/ruoran-zhou.html

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Ruoran Zhou

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Please help to locate Ruoran Zhou !

If you know her whereabouts, contact me.
Or ask her to contact me.
( My email address: mntviews@gmail.com )

Thank you !


Background:

- Ruoran Zhou was born in China.
- Studied & worked in Denmark.
- Came to Sydney Australia in 2014 (or 2015) ???

- Hobby in Sydney: Bushwalking / climbing / hiking
  That's how I knew her.

- Left Australia in 2016.
  Perhaps around Oct/Nov/Dec ???
  To Denmark/China ???

- No one in Australia has heard from her since 😭


The pictures below were from 2015 / 2016,
in the Australian bush.

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Russian girls say Putin

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Plenty of jokes on Vladimir Putin
when he ordered the Russian army
to invade Ukraine in February 2022.

Here is one:

In Russia, we girls don't say yes to sex ...
We say "Putin" 😊

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Water is essential for coffee

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Lucy:  Did you know that water is the most essential element of life ?
Linus:  Yes, because without water, you can't make coffee.

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Pregnant after Valentine's Day

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14th February:  Valentine's Day
Man chases woman.

14th November:  Woman pregnant
Woman chases man.

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Mom taught you how to use spoon !

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To my children:
Never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff.
Remember
I taught you how to use a spoon.

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Senior citizens - Bum like pumpkin

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Husband to pumpkin: I made you a cup of tea, dear.
Wife: I'm over here.

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Fried egg

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He died last fry day.
Thank God he wasn't beaten.
Don't worry, he went over easy.
He's now on the sunny side.
He's definitely in a better plate.

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Boils examination

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Doctor to nurse:

No no nurse !
I said examine his boils !

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Love rumours

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I love rumours.
I always find out amazing things about muself I never knew.

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Hug, coffee and 5 million dollars

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Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say :
    I know it's hard.
    You're going to be ok.
    Here's a coffee and 5 million dollars.

"I got the flu and not an aficionado of coffee.
So, forget about the hug and coffee.
Give me a beer and the 5 million dollars would do."

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Phone call durations

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Different types of phone call durations:
    00:00:58  Boy to Boy
    00:00:45  Boy to Mom
    00:00:20  Boy to Dad
    01:13:59  Boy to Girl
    02:35:20  Girl to Girl
    00:00:03  Husband to Wife
    04:05:15  Mom to Married daughter
    12 missed calls   Wife to Husband

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Tall mermaid

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Beautiful Lora with a perfect mermaid body !
And how amazingly tall she is
compared to the woman in red !

Photographer: LiJun (Stanley) Wu
Date: 2022-Jan-02

Location:
Ledge north of Delusional Slot/Pass,
Wollemi National Park, NSW, Australia


Photographed in a bushwalk:
    from Deception Canyon
    to Dry Canyon
    via Delusional Slot

Trip report & more photos from the bushwalk
are in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2022/03/deception-canyon-dry-canyon-wollemi-np.html

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Caleana major (Flying Duck Orchid)

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A beautiful Caleana major (Flying Duck Orchid, Large Duck Orchid) !
Distribution: Eastern and southern Australia

Although one of its commonly known name is Large Duck Orchid, it is actually quite small  :-)
Its flower remarkably resembles a duck in flight !

The flower is an attractant to insects, such as male sawflies which pollinate the flower in a process known as pseudocopulation  :-)

In 1986 the orchid was featured on an Australian postage stamp.

Photographer: John Graham
Date: 2021-December-19
Location: Odin Head (near the town of Mt Victoria), Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia

It was found in a bushwalk ... from Victoria Brook up to Odin Head via a spiked tree.

More photographs from the bushwalk (including the above orchid) are in this link:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/15KynQbI2-iNzk8WXMPj5lB-DL0-y7tax/view?usp=sharing

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Oxypetalum coeruleum

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Oxypetalum coeruleum (Blue Milkweed), formerly known as Tweedia caerulea

Caught in the act is a crab spider grabbing a bee !!!

Photographer: Johanna Evans
Date: 2021 December
Location: Tamworth, NSW, Australia

Oxypetalum coeruleum is native to South America from southern Brazil to Uruguay.
Now naturalised in some parts of eastern Australia.

It has the United Kingdom Royal Horticultural Society's Award of "Garden Merit" ... whatever that means  :-)

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Sodium joke

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I wanted to post a joke about Sodium.
But then I was like ...
Na ... People won't get it   :-(   :-(   :-(

Comment:
Could pour water on this one
but might get quite a reaction !!!

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Wife's manicured fingernails

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Angry wife's new manicured fingernails

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2-door Mercedes

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I got a date with a beautiful young lady tonight.
And she asked me what car I will be driving.

I say: Mercedes with 2 doors.
She says: Give me some time to dress up.

Hope tonight will be a great dating.

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Where do babies come from ?

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Child:  Mummy ?  Where do babies come from ?

Mother:  Oh ... Erm ... Well dear,
a mummy and daddy fall in love and get married.
Then one night they go into the bedroom
and they kiss and hug and have sex ...
That means the daddy puts his penis
into the mummy's vagina ...
And that's how you get a baby, honey.

Child:  Oh okay ...
But the other night I went into your bedroom
and dad put his penis in your mouth !
What do you get when you do that ?

Mother:

Mother:  Jewelry

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away

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A doctor and an engineer loved the same girl.
The doctor used to give the girl a rose daily.
The engineer used to give her an apple.
Girl got confused and asked the engineer:
    "There is a meaning of giving rose. Why are you giving apple ?"
Engineer replied: "Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

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Street artist portraying a Muslim woman

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Somedays you just get an easy one !

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Career in organized crime

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Son: Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime.
Dad: Government or public sector ?

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You need a new belt

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Car mechanic to woman:
Yep.  There's your problem.  You need a new belt.

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Photo walks in the Baal Bone area

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I have created soft & hard-cover books on the Baal Bone area of NSW, Australia.
Title: Photo Walks in the Baal Bone Area NSW AUSTRALIA

As the title suggests, there are more photographs than words  :-)

The books are published by Amazon:
    Australian site:     https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B09GJPWX7M
or
    Rest of the world: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09GJPWX7M
    (If not available, you'll have to get it from the Australian site.)


Front Cover & Spine

Back cover

Above is soft-cover's back cover with ISBN 979-8478166120
Hard-cover's ISBN is 979-8481671802


Book description

Photo journals of four bushwalks in the Baal Bone area of NSW, Australia.
Photographs are used extensively to illustrate the beauty of this part of the Australian scenery.


Preview of a few pages of the book

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jepzRkD4RMTMMvRYEzwuHUz06zBucHGL/view?usp=sharing


Comment on Pricing

Price in the Australian site is expensive ...
because Amazon grabs a large commission !
I'll received almost nothing ... That is ok with me  :-)

In the "rest of the world" site, the price is not determined by me. And I'm sure I will also receive next to nothing when the books are sold  :-)


Comment on Baal Bone area

Baal Bone area is east of the village of Ben Bullen and about 30 km north of Lithgow as the crow flies.

It straddles Gardens of Stone National Park in the north, and Ben Bullen State Forest in the south.

Prominent features of the area:
    Pagoda-like sandstone rock formations
    Cliffs
    Canyons
    Limestone outcrops
    Elevated swamps

Car access:
    Suitable for high clearance 4WDs only.
    From south: The Bicentennial National Trail / Long Swamp Trail
    From west: Moffitt Trail

Walking tracks:
    Practically none.
    Suitable for experienced and well-prepared off-track bushwalkers only.

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Strugle with B&W TV

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Kids of today don't know what struggle is ...

During our times, we have watched England vs Nigeria matches on B&W TV ...

If you increase brightness, England team disappeared.
Reduce brightness, Nigeria team disappeared.
If the wind blew a bit to sway the antenna, both teams disappeared.

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Pickpocket rehabilitation

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Pickpocket rehabilitation at nude beach

Pickpocket: Pfft ! ...
                     Damn !  Everyone here is nude !
Nudist 1:      Ah !  A new member ...
                     Welcome to our club, my friend !
Nudist 1 again: You don't seem very happy.
                           Is something wrong ?

Pickpocket: Well, forget about that !
                     Why are all of you here ?
Nudist 1:      I'm a banker. I work hard all year.
                     so I'm here to relax.

Pickpocket to nudist 2: And you ?
Nudist 2:      I'm a lawyer ... I love nudism !
                     I've been coming here for 10 years !
Nudist 3:      I'm a computer programmer ...
                     Here everyone is nude
                     and are all the same.
                     It's nice !

Nudist 1:      And you, Sir ?

Pickpocket: I'm a pickpocket.
Nudist 1:      Huh ?

Pickpocket: My doctor sent me here
                     for rehabilitation !

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