Perfume for husband

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Two comics by Randy Glasbergen

My husband is a workaholic. Got any perfume that smells like a desk?

Above pic is photographed in a shop called "Fragrifert - Victorian Perfumery" at top of cable car station at Kelburn, Wellington, New Zealand.
2018-02-11


I want my husband to pay more attention to me. Got any perfume that smells like a computer?

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Cure for sore throat

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Female colleague 1:
Hi. It seems you are not well today ...

Female colleague 2:
Yes. I have a sore throat.
It seems that I will get ill ...

Female colleague 1:
I know a very good medicine for your throat.
Each time I have a sore throat
I blow my husband and the next day I am great.

Female colleague 2:
Hhmmm... Ok...

* * * * *  The following day  * * * * *

Female colleague 1:
Hi. Are you better today ?

Female colleague 2:
I'm fine. Your idea was great !
Your husband couldn't believe it was your idea !

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Open 7 Days

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Open 7 Days
Shop Hours
Open: When we're here !
Closed: When we ain't !

Photographer: Giuseppe Lucius A. Coletti   2018 Feb

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Climbing up a mountain

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Almost done !
Almost !!
Oh yes !
Oh shit !
Actually, life is like that too  :-(

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Tweedledee Tweedledum

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2018-01-26:  I was at Blacktown Showground, NSW, Australia, visiting "Alice in Wonderland" sand sculpture exhibition.

Here is Tweedledee Tweedledum.

Then, along came this pair of twin girls ... so cute !

They match up well with the theme of Tweedledee and Tweedledum !

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Matching colours

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Girl on beach ... with matching colour clothes

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Chemical formula of an orgasm

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Chemical composition of a Latina orgasm
    OH
    O
    Si

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Passwords are like underpants !

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Treat your passwords like your underpants
    - Change them often
    - ! Don't leave them lying around !
    - Don't share them

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Merry Xmas !

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Merry Xmas !

Australian Christmas Santa is made of sand on the beach  :-)

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Running away

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I don't know about you ...

But I've thought about running away
more as an adult than I ever did as a child.

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Climbing mountains

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Size of the hill your friend made you walk up on their hike ... larger than Earth and Jupiter !

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O

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H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O  (on blackboard)

Student to teacher: "I thought you said the chemical composition for water was H to O."

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Old age shown up in joints

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Old age used to be in my head.  Now it's in my joints too.

Hhmmm ... Wait a minute ... Shouldn't it be the other way around? ...
    ... Old age used to be in my joints.  Now it's in my head too   :-)

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Lettuce died for vegetarian

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This lettuce died
... just so you could be a vegetarian !
Have a heart, eat a rock.

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I in Team

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The "I" in "Team" is hidden in "A" hole.

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Totem Pole, Wollemi National Park, NSW, Australia

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The Totem Pole
A stand-alone rock/earth pillar, about 6 meters tall.

- Location:
      • In a remote area of the Wollemi National Park, NSW, Australia
      • 16.5 km (as the crow flies) east-south-east of the small village of Newnes
      • 50 meters from the south bank of Wolgan River
      • Grid Ref: 576 199
      • UTM: 56H  0257639  6319973
      • Coordinate: -33.23204 150.3991

- Somehow, the pillar is made of material strongly bound together and resistant to weather erosion ... but how what why and when?  It is also protected somewhat by a capstone on its top, but that doesn't explain its continued existence.

- The capstone itself looks like a loose hat. Why hasn't it been blown away already ?

- Standing on a steep slope, the Totem Pole is also gravity-defying. You really have to wonder why it hasn't toppled over already !

- Our party to the Totem Pole today:
3 mad masochists - Neilson, Jimmy and I

- Detailed trip report, including our GPS tracklog files:
Click on this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2017/10/totem-pole-wollemi-nat-pk-nsw-australia.html

- Distance and time of the route we took from Newnes to the Totem Pole:
      • On firetrail: 17 km;  4 hrs 30 mins
      • On a disused road/track, some sections indistinct: 1.5 km;  40 mins
      • Scrub bashing: 6 km;  4 hrs
      • One-way total: 25 km;  9 hrs

- The return leg: It took us much longer, 11 hrs 40 minutes, slowed down by Neilson who developed leg & foot injuries.

- Total: 50 km;  21 hrs ... ALL IN ONE DAY !


Question

Is it worthwhile to walk 21 hrs just to see the Totem Pole ?
If you have to ask the question,
you wouldn't understand the answer !

Actually 3 women also started the trip with us.
But they quit much earlier.
Maybe they knew the answer  :-)


Some pictures - taken in 2017 October

Neilson and I at the south bank of Wolgan River
with the Totem Pole half way up the slope.

The above picture doesn't show it ...
The slope around this part of the river bank is very steep.


Neilson has climbed up to near the base of the Totem Pole.
From the pic, you can sort of get an idea of the steepness of the slope.

Jimmy beside the Totem Pole

Somehow, the pillar is made of material strongly bound together and resistant to erosion ... but how what why and when?  It is also protected somewhat by a capstone on its top, but that doesn't explain its continued existence. Standing on a steep slope, it is also gravity-defying. You really have to wonder why it hasn't toppled over already !

Just as well the Totem Pole is not easily accessible. Else all the climbing on the steep slope by visitors would cause enough soil erosion to soon send it tumbling down to the Wolgan River below.



Detailed trip report

A detailed trip report with our GPS tracklog files and more photos are in this link:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2017/10/totem-pole-wollemi-nat-pk-nsw-australia.html


Post Script

1 - The Totem Pole is an example of a Hoodoo ... refer to this link in Wiki:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoodoo_(geology)

2 - I went to see the hoodoos, the Putangirua Pinnacles, in the Wellington Region of New Zealand North Island in February 2018. It is an amazingly outlandish place, like from an alien world. Photographs and a detailed trip report are in my blog:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com.au/2018/02/putangirua-pinnacles-new-zealand-north.html

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Optical illusion - perfect circle

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Believe or not - two perfect circles !

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Dinosaur turd

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These dinosaur poo photographs are funny.
And Freda Moxom is so cute 😊

Photographer: Tania Kayrala, 2017 October

Location: A cave in Rock Island,
Wollemi National Park,
NSW, Australia

I am joking, it is not dinosaur shit.
It is a stalagmite.

Now, in a limestone cave,
stalactites and stalagmites are composed
of deposition of calcium carbonate
and other minerals.

But here, it is formed by mud
dripping down from the ceiling.

A photograph of the ceiling of the same cave is:

Photographer: Paul Ma, 2017 September

Same location as the pics by Tania Kayrala

When a stalagmite reaches the ceiling,
it becomes a mud column ...
as in the 2 pics below:
(But I'm no where as cute as Freda.)

Photographer: David Hou, 2017 October

Location: near Goochs Crater,
Blue Mountains National Park,
NSW, Australia

By the way Goochs Crater is a wonderful place.

Photographs and trip report to there
are in my blog:
https://mntviews.blogspot.com/2017/10/goochs-crater-friday-canyon-dargan-arch.html

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Why do you climb mountains?

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Why do I climb mountains?
If you have to ask the question, you wouldn't understand the answer.

The mountain in the above pic is Castell y Gwynt. It is a top of Glyder Fach in Snowdonia, north-west Wales.

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Happiness for a woman ...

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Happiness is ... watchig the man of your life cooking for you.
(I thought happiness for a woman is when her husband finishes the food although it is not delicious.)

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To-do list

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I completed my to-do list for the day.  Yay !

Nothing !

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Old man's sex urge

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Old man in bed:
Do you think the doctor could give me
some pills to improve my sex urge ?

Woman:
No lad,
he can only heal the sick,
not raise the dead !"

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Inifinity

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Nine: "I'm greater than you!"
Eight (lying down): "What about now?"

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Bare breasts at beach

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Husband to wife:

Jesus Helen,
You can't go on to the beach like that !
It's obscene !

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Now

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Clocks that always show the correct time ... Now !

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Vibrator power too strong

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Researcher: "Experiment 43 with the Dilton Vibrator Special ... Need to cut down on power."

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Mountaineering cycle

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The cycle of mountaineering:
  - Start planning next climb
  - Climb while experiencing great discomfort
  - Swear you'll never do something this miserable again
  - Summit mountain
  - Get home safely
  - Forget misery
  - Start planing next climb
  - etc

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Statistics - Type I and Type II Errors

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Man pregnant ... Type I error - False positive
Woman not pregnant ... Type II error - False negative

Why didn't my stats lecturer explain it to me this way !

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Same face for male and female

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In this illusion by Richard Russell, the same face appears to be female when the skin tone is made lighter (left image) and male when the skin tone is made darker (right image).

The illusion works because changing the skin tone affects the face’s contrast – the difference between the darkest parts of the face (lips and eyes) and lightest parts (the skin).

Few would regard facial contrast as a defining feature of either sex, but in fact, contrast is on average higher in females than males.

Even without consciously knowing it, our brains are attuned to the difference in contrast between the sexes, and so contrast is one cue the brain uses to determine gender. When other cues are removed, contrast can be the deciding factor.

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Eat your veggies

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Mom to kids:
"Eat those veggies,
or I'll change the wi-fi passowrd."

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Vevey Funi

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Photographed in 2014-09 ... along
Grand' Rue, Montreux, Switzerland

For us English speakers, the bus is  Very Funny 😊

In case you are curious:

- Vevey-Funi is:
  Vevey-Mont Pelerin funicular station in Vevey

- Left red arrow in the upper pic:
  Eurotel Montreux,
  Grand' Rue 81, 1820 Montreux, Switzerland

- Right red arrow:
  Fer de Lance,
  Grand' Rue 74, 1820 Montreux, Switzerland

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Earth is the only planet with wine

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Photographed in 2017-06
A sign in Pan y Mermelada, a restaurant/cafe

"Save the Earth   It is the only planet with wine"

By the way, Pan y Mermelada is a nice restaurant.
Food is tasty ... well worth visiting !

Address: Calle Cárcer, 2, 29008 Málaga, Spain
(Corner of Calle Cárcer & Calle Beatas)

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Two types of people with petrol

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There are 2 types of people in this world:
    A:  "OMG, I need to fill up !"
    B:  "I got this."

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Almost there

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What to say when a hiker asks,
"How much farther to the top?"

"You are almost there."
"You are almost there."
"You are almost there."
"You are almost there."

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Exit in Chinese

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For those who know Chinese ...
I photographed this funny exit sign in Málaga Cathedral, Málaga, Spain in 2017 June.

Instead of blaming the clueless Spanish sign maker,
perhaps the whip should be applied to Google.

Do a Google translate of the Spanish word "Salida" into Chinese, and you get 產量.
The Spanish sign maker was merely following the maxim "In Google We Trust" ...
not appropriate when inside a cathedral  :-)

(產量 means something along the line of: Production output / yield ... not "Exit")

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How not to lose your keys

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If you don't want to lose the keys of your padlock ...

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